


The Wrong Murphy

by HayleySykes_FandomQueen



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Actual wing man Jared Kleinman, Angst, Bullying, Canon Connor makes for angst I guess??, Connor is alive, Evan Hansen/Zoe Murphy mentions, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'll give a heads up at the beginning of each chapter, I'll go with that, M/M, Should I tag that there are swear words?, Suicide topics mentioned, There are swear words, Tree Bros, all dah homo, kinda ooc I guess but I'm trying, makeout sessions, might change the rating depending on where I see it's going, slight nsfw but not really?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:00:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HayleySykes_FandomQueen/pseuds/HayleySykes_FandomQueen
Summary: Evan Hansen had managed to stop Connor from running away with his letter, but ended up confessing everything to him. His anxiety, his feelings for Zoe, and how he really fell out of that tree over the summer. Connor realizes Evan might actually be the one person who can understand him. However, there's the issue with the fact that Evan is head over heels for Zoe. Connor is going to show Evan that he fell for the wrong Murphy...





	1. Fair Trade

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first time writing a fanfiction for this fandom and using this website to write anything, but I've been dying to do it, lol  
> Hopefully I can update it regularly and hopefully everyone enjoys it!  
> I'm gonna try to stick with Connor's canon personality from the beginning of the musical, but at the same time we haven't seen him sober, so sober Connor is just au Connor. Idk, we'll see, lol  
> I tried ; - ;  
> Let me know if you guys want me to try to add a little more of anything!

"Connor! Connor wait!" Evan screamed while grabbing onto the back of Connor's hoodie. Connor tried to break away from Evan's grip, but when he turned around, he was surprised to see the shorter male with tears running down his cheeks. He was still talking and running his mouth about something that Connor couldn't understand since he was talking too fast.

"Hansen." Connor said while placing a firm grip on Evan's shoulders as he kept sputtering out what sounded like nonsense.

"Hansen!" He shouted, causing Evan to flinch and shut up instantly.

"Y-yes?" Evan asked, his voice getting smaller.

"Calm. The fuck. Down." Connor said slowly.

"R-right, right. Sorry, it's j-just that I h-have a tendency to ramble and I just really need that letter back, so if you could please j-just-"

"Give me one good fucking reason why I should give it to you, when all you're gonna do is try to make me look like I'm crazy? Huh?" Connor said, feeling his blood boiling.

"I can't even order delivery..." Evan said, his voice getting quiet again as he looked down, letting go of Connor's hoodie. To Connor, this made no sense, and he was losing whatever little patience he had at this moment.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Connor sneered. There was silence for a moment. Evan stayed quiet.

"I'm giving you a chance, Hansen, so you better start talking before I throw you out the window for wasting my time."

"Anxiety." Evan whispered.

"What?"

"I have s-severe anxiety. I-I wait around at home eating-eating cereal while my mom's at work because I can't e-even order a pizza." Evan said a little louder and then took a deep breath after he finished speaking. Connor had heard that something like that could get bad, but he didn't know just how bad some people had it.

Connor let go of Evan's shoulders and stuck his hands into his pockets.

"You have my attention. Continue."

Evan looked up at Connor, a little surprised to find him still listening.

"Well?" Connor urged half heartedly.

"T-the letter that you have, it's something my therapist has me d-do. 'Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a good day, and here's why.' At least, that's how it's supposed to be. I-I can't exactly see the bright of things as much as I wish I could. I have to take a medication just so I don't end up hyperventilating while standing with a tray in the cafeteria. I've had a huge crush on this girl who seems to be the only reason why I want to try to get better. Hell, I've even been lying about how I fell out of a tree." Evan laughed silently and sadly at that last part.

"How'd you do it?" Connor asked, sincerely intrigued this time.

"E-excuse me?"

"Your arm and the tree."

Evan got quiet again, but this time, Connor gave him time to speak.

"What's the usual reason why someone with tons of problems would go to the highest place they can get to?"

This time, it was Connor's turn to go quiet.

"W-well, in my thoughts, it's so they can let go. In my case, I let go of the branch when I reached the top."

Connor was not expecting that. Here's this guy that he actually has a lot of things in common with. Hell, Connor was thinking of offing himself sometime soon, but there was something different about this guy. It almost made him wish he could stick around. After all, he's probably the only guy who could understand.

Thinking about it made Connor's heart race. It was a natural high, and it was better than the crap that he smokes in his room. He actually feels alive.

There was a long moment of silence that they both shared. It was pleasant, and was only interrupted whenever Evan sniffled.

"I'm glad." Connor thought out loud.

"Huh?"

"I got to sign your cast instead of having to sign a family card to send to your funeral."

"Oh, yeah. I-I'm glad too." Evan said hurriedly.

Connor took this moment to look the sandy haired boy up and down. He was handsome, but he gave an atmosphere that practically yelled 'awkward' and 'uncomfortable'. All in all though, he wasn't half bad to look at or be around. His nervousness and mumbling was both annoying, yet endearing.

"I-I don't think you're a freak. You're actually a lot nicer than how you come off." Evan said with a nervous chuckle. Connor felt his cheeks getting warm, something that hasn't happened in a long time.

"Thanks." He said with a small laugh.

"So, can I have my letter back? I kinda n-need it for today." Evan said sheepishly. Suddenly, Connor was looking at Evan with a whole new set of eyes. His heart beat was a little faster, and he had a sudden urge to protect this guy.

"Sure." He said as he was about to hand it to Evan.

"And please don't tell Zoe?"

That was it. Connor pulled the paper out of Evan's reach. He had forgotten about Zoe. Evan's crush on the annoying brat that sends him to hell every day and who treats him like a villain.

Suddenly, a million things were running through Connor's head.

_'What if she manipulates Evan into treating him the way she treats him?'_

_'What if she ends up treating Evan the way he gets treated?'_

_'What does he even see in her?'_

 

"C-Conner?" Evan asked hesitantly. Conner looks Evan in the eyes before giving a smirk.

"Hm?"

"My letter?" Evan reminded him.

"Ohh~ Right. Your letter. I dunno." Connor said, swaying back and forward on his heels. He quickly devised a plan in his head, which probably meant that his high was dying down.

"Y-you said I could have it back." Evan reminded, nervousness lacing his voice.

"True, but I think I need a fair trade." He said, getting closer to Evan.

"Fair trade?" Evan asked, confused. He was very aware of how close Connor was getting to him and he was starting to feel self conscious.

Connor tilted Evan's chin up with one of his hands, leaving it there to keep the nervous boy from looking away.

"What kind of t-t-trade?" Evan asked, feeling like he knew the answer.

"Kiss me." Connor said, straight to the point.

"B-but I l-like Zoe. Plus you and I are-"

"Do you want your letter, yes or no?"

"Y-yes."

"And we don't want Zoe to find out about your little crush now, do we?"

"No." Evan replied quietly.

"Sounds like a fair trade to me then." Connor said in a whisper as he got closer to Evan's face.

"B-but, I still like Zoe-"

"Then you fell for the wrong Murphy, now kiss me." Connor said, not waiting for a response before crashing his lips against Evan's.

Evan had no idea what to do, and all he could focus on was the rough lips against his own. His first kiss. Connor pulled away slightly.

"Close your eyes and kiss me back." He spoke quietly and quickly, moving his hands to Evan's back, one traveling to the back of his neck.

Evan did as Connor said, closing his eyes and kissing the other boy softly. His hands made their own way onto Connor's chest, feeling his heart racing. He took in a deep breath through his nose and all he could smell was the tangy sweet smell that could only be from the blunt Connor must have been smoking this morning before school.

Evan felt his heart race from both nervousness and the rush of being kissed. While they began to pull apart, Connor grabbed a hold of Evan's bottom lip between his own two lips and gave it a quick but gentle suck, earning a small moan from Evan. Connor was pleased with the noise and so he let go with a popping sound.

They stood there for a moment, both of their faces red, Evan's being the worst of the two. Connor placed the letter into the dazed boy's hand and gave him a sly smile.

"See you around, Hansen." He said before walking away, quietly making a joke in his head about calling Evan 'Handsome Hansen'. Maybe his high hadn't died?

Evan was left in the computer room feeling like he could breath for the first time since he saw Connor running away with the letter. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened. First, there was the letter, then there was Connor, and then there was Connor, and then there was Connor.

 

To Evan, Connor just suddenly seemed to be the only thing on his mind aside from how embarrassed he was when he had made that noise early.

 

 _'Was that the reason why he stopped?'_ Evan wondered to himself. He then cursed himself for even wondering about that. He quickly made his way out of the computer lab and went through the rest of the day in a daze.

Connor generally hated the idea of messaging anyone from school, but right now he needed help.

 

 **cmurphy:** beck do u know evan hansen

 **AlanaB:** Connor? OMG! You never message me! And to answer your question, he's a good acquaintance of mine. Why do you ask?

 **cmurphy:** does he have fb or ig

 **AlanaB:** I think I may have him added on Facebook. You're free to add me and look through my friends list to confirm this.

 **cmurphy:** k  
**cmurphy:** ...  
**cmurphy:** thanks i guess

 

Connor cringed at the sight of his 'thank you' message to Alana. Hopefully she doesn't tell his sister. Last thing he needed was to have the little shit give him crap about him 'pretending' to be nice.

Connor rolled his eyes at the thought and decided to get back to the quest at hand. He typed in Alana's name into the search bar and clicked to request her as a friend. Not surprisingly enough, she accepted the request in the blink of an eye. He quickly then went to the search bar in her friend's list and typed in his name. He smiled to himself when he found what he was looking for.

 

 **EvanHansen:** Oh my god  
**EvanHansen:** Connor Murphy sent me a friend request

 **J-ManKleinman:** and you're messaging me because???

 **EvanHansen:** I don't know who to message  
**EvanHansen:** I don't know what to do in general actually

 **J-ManKleinman:** ok, just calm your tits. accept his request and find out what he wants. ezpz.

 **EvanHansen:** Okay

 

Evan nervously accepted the request and received the message that he and Connor were now connected through Messenger. He began typing his message but wasn't sure what to send.

 _"What's up?"_ Too casual.

 _"Is there something you need?"_ Too straight forward.

 _"Why did you send me a friend request?"_ Too mean sounding.

 _"Did you wanna talk about the ki-"_ Evan's typing process halted to a stop when he saw Connor message first.

 

 **cmurphy:** ok since im getting sick of seeing ths 3 dots i'll talk first

 **EvanHansen:** Okay

 **cmurphy:** how'd the thing w/ ur therapist go

 **EvanHansen:** Fine, I guess?  
**EvanHansen:** It was same old, same old

 **cmurphy:** whats same old same old for u

 **EvanHansen:** He talks, I listen, then I talk and he listens

 **cmurphy:** sounds boring

 **EvanHansen:** Yeah, it was  
**EvanHansen:** lol  
**EvanHansen:** ...

 **cmurphy:** what

 **EvanHansen:** I didn't see you the rest of the day at school  
**EvanHansen:** Did you leave early?

 **cmurphy:** u could say tht yes  
**cmurphy:** y  
**cmurphy:** were u thinking of me

 

Evan froze, staring at his screen.

"Stay calm, Evan. He probably just means if you were worried that something happened to him?" Evan said to himself, out loud.

 

 **cmurphy:** ;)

 

 _'Mayday! Mayday! He meant it in that way!'_ Evan shouted in his head. He took deep breaths and tried to breath, but why wasn't he feeling any better? He was breathing in. Oh, he forgot to breath out. There, that's better.

 

 **EvanHansen:** lol

 

 _'Shitshitshit!'_ Was all he could think about. Was it normal to reply to a winky face by saying 'lol'? Was it weird? Would it come off as mean?

 

 **cmurphy:** so u liked it when i sucked on ur lip huh

 **EvanHansen:** I  
**EvanHansen:** (Sorry, sent it too early) I don't understand what you mean

 **cmurphy:** wow u even say srry through text  
**cmurphy:** lame but cute  
**cmurphy:** i was talking about when we kissed

 **EvanHansen:** Oh

 **cmurphy:** u made a noise when i sucked on your lip  
**cmurphy:** did u rly like it that much?  
**cmurphy:** ;)

 **EvanHansen:** Oh! That I jsut wasn't sure what you were talking about since you know you didn't explain straight forward lol  
**EvanHansen:** Shit, hang on, I made a lot of mistakes, sorry

 **cmurphy:** relax hansen  
**cmurphy:** i was only teasing

 **EvanHansen:** Oh!  
**EvanHansen:** Of course  
**EvanHansen:** lol

 **cmurphy:** i said i was teasing but tht doesnt mean its not true  
**cmurphy:** ;)

 **EvanHansen:** Why are you messaging me?

 

'Damnit!' Evan shouted in his head as he saw Connor's typing signal disappear and reappear and disappear again. He came off as mean.

 

 **EvanHansen:** I'm so sorry  
**EvanHansen:** I really didn't mean to come off as mean  
**EvanHansen:** I was just curious  
**EvanHansen:** I'm so so so sorry

 

Connor looked at the messages and took a deep breath. 'God, this kid is too cute.'

 

 **cmurphy:** no sweat  
**cmurphy:** i just wanted to get to know u  
**cmurphy:** ur interesting  
**cmurphy:** not in a weird way but in a wow u dont see tht everyday kinda way

 **EvanHansen:** I don't think I understand  
**EvanHansen:** lol

 **cmurphy:** in a good way  
**cmurphy:** i suck at explaining

 

Evan felt his cheeks turn warm with the compliment. He wasn't even sure why.

 

 **EvanHansen:** Me too  
**EvanHansen:** I mean that I suck at explaining  
**EvanHansen:** lol

 **cmurphy:** chill hansen ur in good hands lol

 **EvanHansen:** Right  
**EvanHansen:** lol  
**EvanHansen:** Can I ask you a question?

 **cmurphy:** u just did

 **EvanHansen:** Can I ask you about something specific?

 **cmurphy:** yes i have anger issues  
**cmurphy:** yes im depressed  
**cmurphy:** yes i ment to throw that printer in the 2nd grade  
**cmurphy:** yes i paint my nails black and i will fight u if u have something to say about it tht i dont like

 **EvanHansen:** Hang on!

 **cmurphy:** i sware hansen  
**cmurphy:** dont fight me on my nails

 **EvanHansen:** No, I wasn't going to ask any of those questions  
**EvanHansen:** And your nails look cool by the way  
**EvanHansen:** lol  
**EvanHansen:** Not that those aren't important things to know though!

 **cmurphy:** ok whats up

 **EvanHansen:** Why did you um....  
**EvanHansen:** You know?

 

Connor smirked at the messages he was reading.

 

 **cmurphy:** what

 **EvanHansen:** You know?  
**EvanHansen:** Today?  
**EvanHansen:** In the computer lab?

 **cmurphy:** what did i do hansen  
**cmurphy:** enlighten me  
**cmurphy:** what r u trying to ask

 **EvanHansen** : You know!  
**EvanHansen:** That!

 **cmurphy:** i dont bite hansen  
**cmurphy:** well  
**cmurphy:** unless u want me to  
**cmurphy:** ;)

 **EvanHansen:** THE KISS!  
**EvanHansen:** Sorry for the caps!

 **cmurphy:** what about it

 **EvanHansen:** Why did you kiss me?

 **cmurphy:** i felt like it  
**cmurphy:** i told u y

 **EvanHansen:** Yeah, you said it was an even trade

 **cmurphy:** and it was  
**cmurphy:** done deal  
**cmurphy:** but

 **EvanHansen:** What?

 **cmurphy:** i could go for another hansen kiss  
**cmurphy:** hey hansen  
**cmurphy:** do u wanna know what im doing right now

 **EvanHansen:** Uh, sure?

 **cmurphy:** at least try to sound enthusiastic  
**cmurphy:** it turns me on ;)

 **EvanHansen:** Do you like me?

 **cmurphy:** buzz kill  
**cmurphy:** i was going to tell u tht im just lying down on my bed  
**cmurphy:** thinking of u

 

If Evan wasn't blushing before (which he was) he's definitely blushing now. Maybe even a whole new level of blush.

 

 **EvanHansen:** Really?

 **cmurphy:** yea  
**cmurphy:** im rubbing my nipples and moaning ur name  
**cmurphy:** ;)

 **EvanHansen:** !!??

 **cmurphy:** relax im kidding  
**cmurphy:** but i was for real about tht kiss  
**cmurphy:** i could go for another 1  
**cmurphy:** night hansen ;)

 

Before Evan could get a chance to message back, the online signal for Connor switched to offline. Evan then realized that he was kind of also hyperventilating. He just couldn't make any sense of this situation. Why was Connor behaving this way towards him all of a sudden? Maybe he was just high? Was he really joking about doing that kind of stuff while thinking about him? This whole thing sent Evan into a dizzy haze, so he typed out a quick 'good night' before turning off his light and trying to get some sleep.

 

"I must be high or something." Connor laughed slightly to himself as he lied in bed, bringing his hands to his chest thinking it wouldn't be such a bad idea to try out something new, even if it started as a joke.

What started out as a joke to Connor turned into his mind thinking of what it would be like to have Evan right there, right now. What it would be like to have Evan running his hands up and down his body. The thought alone made him shudder as he performed the action on his own.

Connor jumped slightly at the sound of his notification going off. He quickly turned over to his side to check.

 

 **EvanHansen:** Good night and sleep well

 

He shoved his phone under his pillow and resumed his fantasies. 'Why does he have to make this so hard?' Connor thought to himself. Before long, he was doing exactly what his message to Evan had said, moaning and all. He laughed to himself a little as he was catching his breath thinking, maybe he should include how he was left panting and begging Evan for more in his little fantasy. He was ready to go to sleep until one last thing popped into his head.

Evan had asked him if he liked him and he was able do dodge the question pretty well even though he was high. Wait, was he high? He couldn't even remember. He's not even sure what his feelings towards Evan are. Maybe he does like him? The thought alone made him laugh. He wasted no time falling asleep after giving himself a mental hi-five for his accomplishments today.


	2. "My brother did WHAT?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You okay?" He asked, breaking the silence.
> 
> "Y-yeah. I should probably get to class. See you around." Evan said, quickly taking a deep breath as if he hadn't been breathing the entire time. Before Evan could walk away, Connor quickly stepped forward and held him against him in what could be called a hug, with his chest against Evan's back.
> 
> "I don't say this, ever really, but thank you. You didn't need to do that." Connor said, placing his chin on Evan's head. Evan felt the blush creeping up his neck and warming his cheeks. He could only pray and hope that Connor didn't notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding Chapter 1:  
> Wow, I honestly surprised myself with that last chapter considering the fact that I had finished writing it at 3 in the morning, lol
> 
> Regarding Chapter 2:  
> I am honestly so happy to be publishing this chapter, lol  
> Hooray for long chapters!
> 
> Regarding Future Chapters:  
> I was wondering if guys think I should include more nsfw stuff, and what kind I should include. I'm down for writing anything tbh, so please leave a comment to let me know or go to my ask on Tumblr: http://theoperaghostsstudent.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you guys for reading so far! Reading the few comments from the last chapter really encouraged me to write this and finish it so quickly. Thank you guys so much for the encouragement, and I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"My brother did _what?"_ Zoe Murphy asked, her jaw dropping.

"Look, the message is right here! He thanked me after I told him I probably had Evan added on Facebook and that he could check through my friend's list." Alana said, just as shocked.

"What the hell would he want with Evan? I saw him push the poor guy in the hallway just the other day."

"Maybe he wants to be Evan's friend?" Alana asked, making Zoe cackle with a dry laugh.

"This is my brother we're talking about. He has no friends." She sneered.

"Maybe he wants to make friends?" Alana suggested.

"Yeah, or maybe he just wants his lunch money so he can buy more weed." Zoe said, rolling her eyes. They were walking down the hall when Evan and Connor came into view.

"Wait! We can't let them see us. I wanna see what's going on." Zoe said, holding Alana back so they could hide behind a locker and spy on the two boys. They watched as the two interacted, but weren't really able to hear what they were saying.

 

"So, you like trees?" Connor asked, amused by the thought.

"Y-yeah. There are a lot of different kinds. You can actually tell how old a tree is by counting the rings in the stump, but of course that would mean that the tree would have to be cut down in order to do that, which is really sad because then that means it's technically dead and-"

"What's your favorite kind?" Connor said, purposely interrupting the boy's rambling.

"I-I guess a, um, sycamore? Or maybe an oak? I'm sorry, but why are you asking me these questions?" Evan asked, confused. Connor had approached him about a minute earlier and started asking him about the things he likes, which was kind of odd, but still nice since he doesn't exactly get to talk about the things he likes with anyone.

"I thought we should get to know each other. I don't know. Seemed like a good idea." Connor said with a shrug.

"Oh, yeah, of course." Evan said with a nervous chuckle.

"Well! If it isn't the embodiment of depression mixed with a side of self harm!" Jared Kleinman said, referring to Connor as he walked up to the boys.

"Oh! And he's talking to acorn! How lovely! You two a thing now, or are we keeping it on the down low?" He said with a laugh.

"You wanna fucking go Kleinman? You're the size of a chihuahua to me, I could easily drop kick you over a fence, maybe even off a cliff." Connor snapped at Jared. Evan let out a small laugh at Connor's insult.

"Are you seriously laughing at this freak's joke?" Jared questioned Evan.

"Oh! I just-I thought-um-I didn't mean t-"

"What are you, the humor police? You gonna arrest the guy for laughing at something funny, huh? You must have enjoyed shoving that large pole up your ass this morning since you're acting like a stuck up bitch."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I know funny when I hear funny, so don't go telling me that I can't take a joke!" Jared snapped, adjusting his backpack before walking away. He stopped briefly and turned around.

"Evan, I'd suggest you stop hanging out with that guy unless you want people to label you as the school shooter's accomplice."

"Piece of shit!" Connor yelled as he was about to charge forward and kick Jared's ass, but Evan had somehow gotten a hold of his arm and pulled him back.

"It's n-not worth it." Evan quickly said before stepping in front of Connor. Connor's blood stopped boiling, and quickly he began to worry about what this kid was going to do.

"Mom said that we'll be coming over for dinner tomorrow." Evan said quickly before looking down at his feet and messing with the hem of his polo. There was a moment of silence, leaving Connor confused.

"Are you threatening me, Evan?" Jared scoffed.

"N-no, I'm just telling y-you to be nicer." Evan replied, not looking up.

"Whatever, just don't expect me to reply to any of your messages later." Jared said before walking away to his class.

 

Connor watched as the scene had played out and carefully kept his eyes on Jared as he walked down the hall. Then he turned his attention to Evan. The way Evan was slightly hunched over, still looking at the ground, made Connor worry a bit.

"You okay?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"Y-yeah. I should probably get to class. See you around." Evan said, quickly taking a deep breath as if he hadn't been breathing the entire time. Before Evan could walk away, Connor quickly stepped forward and held him against him in what could be called a hug, with his chest against Evan's back.

"I don't say this, ever really, but thank you. You didn't need to do that." Connor said, placing his chin on Evan's head. Evan felt the blush creeping up his neck and warming his cheeks. He could only pray and hope that Connor didn't notice.

"It's okay. I felt like it. But," Evan said as he turned around to face Connor, stepping out of Connor's embrace. Well, not exactly face him since he was still looking at his feet. "Jared might try to act l-like he doesn't need anybody, but he-he actually doesn't have any friends."

"Well, no shit." Connor said with a slight laugh. Evan joined in the laughter with his nervous chuckle.

"I'm gonna head to class, so stay out of trouble?" Evan said with a sheepish smile. Since the beginning of their conversation today, he started feeling a little closer to Connor friendship wise.

"You're asking for a miracle, Evan Hansen." Connor said with his sly smile as he started walking backwards, away from Evan.

"You know what they say," Evan started saying as he too began to walk backwards, watching Connor back away in the opposite direction. "Miracles can happen when you believe." 

"Keep believing, Hansen. Keep believing." Connor said before turning around and walking towards his class. Soon enough, Evan turned around as well and rushed to his own class.

 

"Did you see that?" Zoe asked in shock.

"Them hugging or the goofy smiles and googoo eyes they were giving each other?" Alana replied.

"Connor went to class." She said, eyes wide. He was almost never in class, so for him to voluntarily go to class and to do so on time was a big deal.

"Maybe he and Evan are friends after all?" Alana asked.

"No. Something weird is happening, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."

 

 

When Connor got home, he was stopped from entering his room by Zoe who was crossing her arms, blocking the entrance.

"Move." He growled.

"What do you want with Evan Hansen?" She asked right away, glaring him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He smirked, shoving her out of the way before rolling his eyes and entering his room.

"I'm serious, Connor! One second you're pushing him and the next you're-" Zoe tried finishing her sentence, but the door was slammed in her face, making her more frustrated with him.

"Good for nothing pot head!" She yelled at him through the door.

"Living the dream!" She heard Connor yell back.

 

Zoe stomped her way downstairs and went on to walk into the kitchen where she found her mom making an after school snack. She found herself a seat on one of the bar stools in front of the counter, her eyebrows furrowed together in thought, letting out a few angry huffs of air from time to time.

"Zoe, what's got you so riled up?" Cynthia asked her daughter after seeing the expression on her face. "Is it Connor again?" She asked with a sigh.

"I just don't get it." Zoe said, throwing her hands up in the air out of frustration.

"Don't get what, Sweetheart?"

"Connor went to class on time today!" She replied, slam her hand onto the counter, making a loud thump. Cynthia's eyes widened at the news before a smile found its way onto her face.

"He did?! Oh, that's wonderful!" She exclaimed, making her way around the counter to sit beside her daughter in one of the bar stools.

"No, mom, it's weird! He's been acting...I don't know. Different?"

"Sounds like he could be getting better." Cynthia said with a sigh of relief.

"Connor? Better? Ha! Good one, mom, but that joke got old a looong time ago." Zoe said, resting her chin against the cold, smooth surface of the counter.

"He went to class though, right? If he's not trying to get better, then what could it be? Why the sudden change?" Cynthia asked, somewhat to Zoe, but somewhat to herself.

 

 "Hey, Hansen." Connor said as he spoke into the mic that was attached to his earbuds.

"Connor? Why are you calling me through Messenger? Oh! And, hi!" Evan said in his quick, nervous manner.

"Didn't have your actual number saved, so this was the next best thing. Anyways, I was wondering if you'd be up for a little outing?"

"D-depends, I guess? Where too? And I'd have to tell my mom." Evan replied.

"It's, uh, a little place I used to go to with my family when...when I was younger. See, we used to have picnics there and shit, so I thought since you like the outdoors that you'd be up for it. I'm picking you up in an hour, so send me your address."

"Oh! But I have to ask my mom and-"

"Address, Hansen, and don't forget to breath." Connor said with a small chuckle.

"Right. I'll let her know right now and I'll...I'll message you." Evan said, starting off with a soft laugh and ending with a quiet smile as he held the phone against his ear.

"See you then." Connor said, hanging up the call. Evan wondered what had possessed Connor to ask him to go out with him at this hour, but he actually didn't want to think about it too much. From the way Connor spoke about it, it sounds like a nice place and a good memory for him, so why not share it?

 

 

Connor made his way down the stairs, grabbing the keys from their assigned spot on the key tree that was hanging on the wall in the hallway.

"Connor? Where are you going?" Larry, Connor's dad, asked, spotting the boy as he made his way from the garage.

"Out." Connor replied, trying to brush past him, but was all too proud of himself, so he added, "Seeing a friend. We're gonna be out for a while, so I'll see ya."

 

With that, Connor was out the door, starting the car, and leaving the driveway. Larry could hardly believe that Connor actually spoke to him about a plan with a friend.

"Cynthia?" Larry called out, still staring at the door Connor left through.

"What is it, Larry? I'm busy." She said as she entered the room.

"Connor just went out." He replied.

"What? Not again! Ugh! I hate it when he leaves so late and then doesn't at least tell me where he'll be going!" Cynthia said, giving a frustrated sigh.

"He told me he was going to see a friend and that he'd be out late." He said, still in shock as he turned around to face his wife.

"What? A friend? Who?" Cynthia asked, just as surprised.

"I...I'm not sure. He told me though, Cynthia. He gave me a heads up that he'd be out late for the first time ever."

"I wonder where he could have gone?" Cynthia asked as well, once again only partially for anyone present to answer, but mostly for herself to find the answer to.

 

 

"Hi." Connor greeted Evan as he approached the car.

"H-hello!" Evan replied, stuttering nervously. Evan examined the beat up car. It didn't look like it had been in a car accident or anything, but it did look like it's taken quite a lot of punches.

"We don't have all day, Hansen." Connor rushed, making Evan hurry around to the passenger seat. Evan quickly buckled up and they were down the road in no time.

 

It was a quiet drive so far, and Evan couldn't help but notice that Connor wasn't wearing his seat belt. He wondered why that was. He didn't want to ask any questions though. He was too afraid of breaking this comfortable silence that they had between each other at the moment, so he turned his attention out the window. They had been driving for a while now, and from the looks of it they were taking the road less traveled. There were not a lot of street light, and the pavement had turned into a dirt road a little whiles back.

"So, you like trees, right?" Connor asked, breaking the silence. Evan turned his attention back to Connor, who was keeping his eyes locked on the road.

"Y-yeah. You asked me that this morning." Evan laughed slightly.

"Just wanted to make sure that I'm not fucking this up." Connor said under his breath, a small smile crossing his lips.

"Where are we going anyway? I mean-I know you kinda told me-but at the same time you didn't-so I've been trying to figure it out and-" Evan gasped when he felt Connor put his hand on his thigh. When had he let go of the steering wheel? Can he drive with one hand?

"Sorry. I-I know I ramble a lot." Evan said, trying not to focus on the feeling. It took everything in Evan's power to not let out another gasp when Connor squeezed his thigh a bit. Instead, he let out a breathy sigh.

"Hansen, you don't have to apologize. Just, remember to breath? That's all I'm gonna say." Connor replied. Sure, he had been annoyed by the rambling, but he understood that Evan couldn't help it sometimes. God he needed a hit. He hadn't smoked anything since yesterday. These nicotine patches were so itchy, he couldn't believe he was trying this again.

"How far?" Evan asked, swallowing hard.

"We're pulling up right now." Connor said, taking his hand off of Evan's thigh and returning it to the steering wheel as he made a turn into what looked like an abandoned orchard.

"The old apple orchard?" Evan asked in awe as he stared out the window at all the trees.

"You said you liked trees, and that reminded me of this place. I used to spend a lot of time here as a kid."

"That's amazing." Evan said as he turned to face Connor, grinning from ear to ear. "It's my first time." He said cheerfully. Connor felt the heat quickly rush into his face, and cursed in his head.

 _'Wording, Hansen. Fucking watch your wording.'_ Connor flipped out internally.

"So, what are we doing here?" Evan asked curiously. Connor opened the door to the driver's side and stepped out of the car. He really couldn't believe he was doing this. It was so cliche, it's hard to believe that he's not high right now.

"Connor? You okay?" Evan asked. Connor hadn't noticed that he had stepped out of the car and joined him on his side.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm fucking fine." Connor said, taking a deep breath. Evan looked at him, raising an eyebrow as if questioning him.

"So, what are we doing here?" Evan asked again.

"Right. Well," Connor began as he stepped around Evan and opened the door leading to the backseat of the car, gesturing to it before returning his attention to Evan. "I thought we could have a picnic or some shit."

 

Evan looked inside the backseat and saw a messily folded quilt and a couple plastic bags from 7 Eleven that held what looked like food and utensils. Evan looked at everything in surprise. He never would have expected Connor to do something like this.

"Fuck. Sorry that it's not a lot. You probably think this is the lamest fucking thing ever." Connor said, giving the car a quick punch out of frustration.

"No! Not at all!" Evan quickly said, turning back to face Connor. "It's...It's actually the nicest thing anyone has ever done."

 

Connor stared at Evan in disbelief. Holy fucking shit. Evan genuinely looked happy to see bags full of crap from a gas station store and even said it was the nicest thing ever.

 

Evan quickly grabbed a few bags with his good arm and then turned and gave Connor a smile.

"So, where should we sit?" He asked happily.

 

 

The two found a nice place to set up their picnic. It was under one of the trees, and you could see the sunset through the field. They sat there eating whatever junk food Connor had managed to bring, along with some fruit that he had gotten for Evan in case he didn't like junk food. It was quiet, and it was perfect.

After eating a hot dog, Evan lied down on the blanket that they had been sitting on. He stared at the clouds passing by while popping a grape into his mouth here and there. Connor sat reclined against the tree and reached into his bag, pulling out a book and began to read silently. This caught Evan's attention. From where he was laying down, he could see the title of the book.

"Cat's Cradle?" Evan asked, eyeing the book. It didn't seem like something Connor would read.

"Have you read it?" Connor asked, turning the page, not looking up from the book.

"Yeah, I think so. It was part of a reading assignment in the 10th grade, right?" Evan said.

"I read it before that." Connor gave a quiet, unamused laugh.

"Oh. That's nice." Evan said, unsure of what to say.

"Do I not look like the 'Cat's Cradle' kind of guy to you?" Connor asked, feeling his blood boil slightly. Feeling like he was being judged.

"You do, actually. I just didn't expect it-though it's mostly because of your spelling when you text-but it's not like I'm saying that there's anything wrong with the way you spell things-it's just that-"

"Hansen." Connor warned, taking a deep breath, still looking at his book. His grip on the book had tightened, and Evan noticed Connor's knuckles going white from it.

"Sorry..." Evan said quietly and apologetically before looking back at the clouds. Evan decided it was probably best to do that for now so he wouldn't make Connor upset and make him regret wanting to get along with him. His nerves were so wracked that he could feel some tears pricking his eyes as he watched the clouds swirl and make different shapes. Yes. This is what he'd focus on for now. Maybe then he wouldn't mess things up with his dumb rambling.

 

The clouds turned from white to amazing shades of purples, pinks, and oranges. The one thing that distracted Evan from his focus on the clouds was Connor taking another deep breath and then the sound of him closing his book. Soon enough, he was laying right beside Evan, looking up at the same clouds he was. The air was no longer tense.

"Sorry...I mean, I didn't mean to snap at you." Connor apologized quietly.

"No, it...it was my-my fault." Evan replied. He held back a surprised sound when he felt Connor grab his hand and intertwine their fingers together.

"Evan Hansen, I am a fucking dumbass, good for nothing pot head. And you know what? I know it." Connor said with a shaky sigh.

"That's not true!" Evan said, sitting up and looking down at Connor, still holding his hand. Connor gave him a look as if to say, 'do you even fucking believe that?'.

"Really? How so?" Connor challenged. Evan quickly started trying to think of ways to prove him wrong, but sort of came up short except for one thing.

"W-well, you-you do smoke pot, and you are a little reckless, but you're not good for nothing, and you're no where near being dumb."

"You do know being dumb and being a dumbass are essentially two different things, right?" Connor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, b-but you're not good for nothing though." Evan quickly said.

"Okay, explain then. How am I not good for nothing?"

 

Evan thought for a moment, once again. He saw the look of hope in Connor's eyes, as if he was asking for someone (namely Evan) to prove him wrong. To tell him that he means something.

"Your patience is short, but you're still willing to listen."

"Is that all? I'm a good listener?" Connor asked, laughing a little and rolling his eyes.

"No! It's-it's just that's the first thing I thought of when-when we first spoke. I said to myself, 'Wow, for the first time ever, someone is genuinely listening to me and not trying to give me meds for it'. For the first time ever, I felt like I actually had someone who was there for me, even if you th-thought I was an annoying little shit." Evan said, giving a sad laugh a little at the end and looking down at how their hands were connected.

"Evan." Connor said, calling Evans attention back to him. Evan stared at Connor as he was trying to look for something to say. His long hair was sprawled out on the blanket, and he looked deep in thought. Connor hadn't ever really called him by his first name before, so this was something new.

"Fuck. Okay, so you can be hella annoying when you ramble, but that's just an action. You yourself are not annoying. You like trees for god's sake!"

"And you like books, like 'Cat's Cradle'." Evan said in response. Connor was confused, but decided to try to follow where Evan was going with this.

"You...You like the color blue." He said, and Evan smiled. So, he must have guessed right.

"You-um-secretly like tying up your hair so that you don't have it in your face all the time." Evan said, looking as if he was hoping he got it right. Connor was left wondering how he had managed to get that one right.

"You like cloud watching." Conner said, admiring the smile that was drawn on Evan's face. Earlier he and Evan had been looking at clouds, and now it was as if Evan had become Connor's sky from the way he was looking down at Connor.

"You like the quiet."

"I like you." Connor said, watching as Evan's eyes widened. He was frozen there, hovering above him. Connor slowly began to sit up a bit, getting closer to Evan. Their lips inches apart.

 

Connor's eyes darted from Evan's lips, to Evan's eyes. Evan's eyes went from Connor's eyes to Connor's lips. Evan and Connor both thought this could only be a bad idea, but how bad of a bad idea could it be?

 

To Connor's surprise, it was Evan who leaned in to initiate the kiss. His soft lips against Connor's rough ones. Connor wrapped his arms slowly around Evan's neck as he went back to lay down. Once he did, Evan's lips followed and chased after the kiss, not ready to stop yet. Connor had remembered their last kiss and sucked on Evan's bottom lip, causing him to moan. Evan gasped and tried to pull away, but Connor rolled them over so that Evan was trapped beneath Connor.

Connor crashed his lips against Evan's and they resumed the kiss. This time, the kiss was more passionate. Connor used the opportunity to deepen the kiss, earning a small noise from Evan which, in turn, drew one from himself. Connor was in the heat of the moment and began trailing kisses down Evan's jawline towards his neck. He ended up kissing a particularly sensitive area, making Evan gasp.

"Connor!" Evan exclaimed, but it came out as half a moan and half a plead to stop. Connor sucked on the spot a little harder, causing Evan to squirm and make little noises beneath him. He pulled away slightly and examined his handiwork. Evan will probably flip out about it later when he sees, but for now, it was Connor's secret.

He hovered above Evan for a while, looking into his eyes. Evan looked as if he had just about melted from the physical contact. Connor smirked at the thought.

"Uh-um, Connor?" Evan's voice cracked in the beginning, earning a soft chuckle from Connor.

"Yeah, Hansen?" 

"It's-it's really dark." Evan said, raising his good arm and pointing towards the sky. Connor looked up and saw the sky was filled with stars. He looked back at Evan before rolling off of him and onto his back, laughing.

"Holy fuck, Hansen! We just made out and your first thoughts are the sky?!" Connor said, laughing until tears formed in his eyes.

"I only noticed because the sky reminds me of your eyes." Evan laughed along. They both laid there laughing, until Evan sat up, no longer laughing.

"I-I need to go home." He said quickly and nervously. Connor sat up as well, confused.

"Everything okay, Hansen?" He asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I-I have a lot I need to think about." Evan quickly replied.

"Oh?" Connor said as he got onto his knees, crawling behind Evan and wrapping his arms around him. "Are you gonna go home and think about me?" He continued in a flirtatious manner, leaning his head down towards Evan's neck and starting a trail of kisses. Evan threw his head back and let out a groan.

"C-Connor, p-please?" Evan asked, his words shaky.

"Please what?" Connor asked before resuming his trail of ~~hickies~~ kisses. Evan took in a deep, shaky breath. Oh.

"Sorry...I-I didn't mean to push you so far." Connor said, letting go of Evan and giving him his space.

 

Connor looked away from Evan, mentally cursing at himself. He didn't mean to make the kid feel uncomfortable. God, he was such a fucking idiot. Here he was thinking everything was going smoothly, but he just had to go and fuck it up. Nice one dumbass.

 

Connor was trapped in his head until he felt something warm cover his hand. He turned to see Evan looking away, but holding his hand. He felt so happy that he could cry, but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. He still crossed the line. Now he was beginning to worry about Evan's reaction to the hickies that he had left him.

"Uh, Ev?" Connor started. Evan quickly turned to face him, looking him in the eye with a look of surprise and longing.

"Y-yeah, Connor?" Evan stuttered out, his face still in awe.

"I...I did something you might not like, but don't freak out. It can-uh-it can be covered up." Connor said awkwardly, suddenly trying to avoid Evan's gaze. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Evan reach up to his neck, touching the spots where he had kissed him gingerly.

"I'll-uh-take you to the drugstore and we can-um-pick out your shade or some shit." Connor said, suddenly embarrassed by his actions. He looked away further, not wanting to even see Evan out of his peripheral vision as he felt the heat flush his face. He felt Evan let go of his hand before feeling a shift on the blanket. Suddenly, Evans arms were wrapped around him. Connor was frozen in his spot as Evan carefully moved his hair to one side and was caught off guard when Evan placed his lips against his neck.

Connor began moaning as soon as he felt Evan sucking hard against his skin. He could have sworn he even felt him lick the spot a little which left Connor feeling weak. Evan continued to do that in a couple more areas before burying his face in Connor's back and hugging him tightly.

"W-what the fuck?" Connor asked, his voice cracking and coming out shaky as he turned around to face Evan. Evan moved back a bit and pointed at Connor's neck.

"F-fair trade." Evan said with a shy smile.

 _'HOLY. FUCK.'_ was all that went through Connor's mind.

"We-we should probably go now. My mom is probably home." Evan laughed a little.

"Y-yeah." Connor replied before clearing his throat. This boy was going to be the end of him.

 

 

On the drive back, they did stop by a drugstore so they could buy Evan some concealer to hide the marks during school and from his mother. They had goofed around in the aisle, playing with the hair extensions and even wandering into the toy aisle to play with the whoopee cushions, as per Evan's request. All in all, the day had been a great one that would last in both their memories for forever.

 

"Well, this is me." Evan said, looking at his house through the window.

"Better get going before Mrs. and Mr. Hansen have a heart attack wondering where you ran off to so late." Connor laughed a little.

"A-actually, it's just my mom and I. My-uh-my dad left when I was seven. He lives in Colorado with his new family." Evan said with a sad laugh.

"Well, you know what?"

"What?"

"He's a fucking dumbass. No offense."

"None taken." Evan laughed, wholeheartedly this time. Connor smiled a little behind his hair, proud that he made him smile. Before Evan, he was starting to believe that he'd never be able to make anyone smile.

"Well, you get home safe, okay?" Evan said, smiling and blushing slightly.

"What? No good night kiss?" Connor smirked. Even in the dark of the car, Evan's face flushed red. Connor laughed a little.

"Relax, Hansen, it was only a-" his words were cut off short by Evans pressing his lips against his. Sure, Connor had been joking, but he wasn't about to pass up this opportunity. 

 

Evan's hands had found their way into Connor's hair, all while Connor held on to one of Evan's hips with one hand and resting his other on the small of his back. The mood was disrupted by a phone call coming in through Connor's phone. He pulled away slightly to check the caller I.D. while still holding Evan. It was Zoe.

Evan's face paled as if he had thought up a ghost and saw it right before his eyes.

"I have to go." He said quickly, opening the car door and turning to exit. Connor grabbed onto the back of Evan's shirt and pulled him back into the car before covering his mouth with his index finger, signalling him to be quiet. With that, he answered the phone and put it on speaker.

"What?" He asked bitterly into the receiver.

"Where the fuck are you?" Zoe snapped from the other end of the call.

"I told dad I'd be going out and that I'd be late."

"Since when the fuck do you tell dad that you're gonna be late?"

  
Evan felt uncomfortable listening in on their conversation. He had no idea that Zoe cursed this much.

  
"Since when was it any of your business?"

"Oh please! Stop trying to act like a good son. Who is actually going to believe any of that bullcrap?"

  
Connor felt his anger get the best of him.

  
"Fuck you!" he yelled into the receiver before hanging up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his eyebrows knit closely together as he tried his best to calm down.

"So, I t-take it you two don't get along?" Evan asked, breaking the silence. Connor opened his eyes, glaring at Evan.

"Right. Stupid question. Sorry." He said quickly. Connor left out a huff.

"No, no stupid questions. Sorry that I made you hear that. I just...I wanted you to see that Zoe and I aren't all that different. She gets pissed off too, especially at me."

"So, you wanted me to hear her swear?"

"I wanted to even out the playing field. I...I want an equal chance." Connor said, looking out the driver's seat window, letting go of Evan's shirt.

"I know I'm not goodie gumdrops and rainbows with smiles drawn on them, but neither is my fucking sister. Well, at least not all the time." Connor said, biting the inside of his cheek to try to control his temper.

"I know that. Well, about you. I-I had no idea about Zoe. She and I, we only spoke once. I think...I think I'm starting to make sense of some things, but-but I need more time-I don't know-I just wish I could find the answer and-"

"Just. Stop. Rambling." Connor said through his teeth, his patience wearing thin.

"And, just at least try to think of me sometime. You've got my number now. Use it." Connor said.

"I-I will." Evan said awkwardly. He watched as Connor's breathing was slowly being controlled while he looked out the opposite window. Evan decided to take a risk and so he leaned in quickly and gave Connor a quick peck on the cheek before rushing out of the car and onto his porch.

"Thank you for today! Good night!" He shouted to the frozen figure that was inside the car before making his way into the house.

 

Connor sat in the car wondering what he had done to deserve the attention of someone like Evan.

'He actually said that he'd think about me.' Connor thought to himself, resting his forehead against the steering wheel and smiling brightly. As he was driving home, he regretted smiling so much in the car since now his face was hurting. He hadn't smiled like that in a while, so he wasn't used to it. He didn't regret, however, taking Evan out to the orchard, or forcing him to kiss him in the computer lab, or even picking up his letter and jumping to conclusions. All of that lead to this. His chance to be happy with the one person he hasn't disappointed yet. 

Another thing he noticed while driving home was that the nicotine patch was starting to fall off, and he had only thought about smoking once or twice while he was with Evan. Of course that didn't change the fact that he is craving a hit right now, but it did give him the encouragement to not go for it. A small push. For that, Connor was thankful.

Today had been a perfect day.


	3. "I'm Blending As Best As I Can!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan waited patiently for his phone to ring. Within a minute, his phone went off and he quickly answered.
> 
> "Start talking." Jared said from the other end.
> 
> "W-well, I-I don't know what to say-I mean-we were at the orchard yesterday and-"
> 
> "Evan Hansen, don't tell me you lost your virginity under a fucking tree. I know you've got some kind of weird tree kink, but for fuck's sake-"
> 
> "No-no-no-no! That's-that's not what happened! And I don't have a tree-whatever!"
> 
> "Okay, so, what the hell happened? And go slow? I need all the deets." Jared asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are! Chapter 3! :D  
> I'm honestly so happy with all the comments and kudos the story has been receiving, and I'm super thankful that you guys are enjoying the story so far.
> 
> Regarding Chapter 2:  
> I'm honestly really happy with how it came out, and I'm also happy with the responses to my question on the future content of the story ;)  
> Of course, that kind of stuff will come later on since I agree that they should get to know each other more. Plus, Evan is currently still sorting out his feelings for both Murphy's, lol
> 
> As far as content, I'll be tagging as I go. Of course these two are going to have a lot of ups and downs, so I'll let you guys know at the beginning of the chapter if there's anything that could be a possible trigger to some people, or a heads up if you will.
> 
> Thank you guys again for reading, and keep the kudos and comments coming in since they are my source of inspiration, lol  
> You can also ask me questions or make suggestions, so feel free to do so in the comments or you can send me a message or ask on tumblr @theoperaghostsstudent :)

**EvanHansen:** Jared, I need to talk to you

 **J-ManKlienman:** well, you should've thought of that before the stunt you pulled yesterday. remember? i'm not going to talk to you.

 **EvanHansen:** Jared, please!

 **J-ManKleinman:** nope. not happening.

 **EvanHansen:** Jared, I'm so confused

 **J-ManKleinman:** you think you're confused? you threw me under the bus in front of your boyfriend yesterday!

 **EvanHansen:** Connor isn't my boyfriend!  
**EvanHansen:** At least, I don't think so??  
**EvanHansen:** He hasn't said anything about it...

 **J-ManKleinman:** wait.  
**J-ManKleinman:** you know that i'm just fucking with you, right?  
**J-ManKleinman:** i know that you and connor aren't a thing.

 **EvanHansen:** ...

 **J-ManKleinman:** evan. i am going to call you. when i do, make sure to pick up the damn phone.

 

Evan waited patiently for his phone to ring. Within a minute, his phone went off and he quickly answered.

"Start talking." Jared said from the other end.

"W-well, I-I don't know what to say-I mean-we were at the orchard yesterday and-"

"Evan Hansen, don't tell me you lost your virginity under a fucking tree. I know you've got some kind of weird tree kink, but for fuck's sake-"

"No-no-no-no! That's-that's not what happened! And I don't have a tree-whatever!"

"Okay, so, what the hell happened? And go slow? I need all the deets." Jared asked.

"We had a picnic." Evan started, taking a breath afterward.

"Okay. Continue."

"I-I stared at the clouds while-while he read a-a book. Cat's Cradle."

"Wait, he reads?"

"Jared!" Evan groaned. They were getting off topic, and of course Connor reads.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay, so there was a picnic and then you two just did your own thing. Then what?" Jared pressed on.

"Well, I kept b-bugging him I guess, and he got mad? So, I just stopped talking and stared at the clouds."

"Okay, this is getting boring. Can you please get to the point?" Jared groaned.

"He said he liked me-and then we kissed-and now I have hickies-and makeup-but I don't know how to use it- and I don't know what to d-"

"W A I T. Back that shit up, Hansen. Give me one key word for each sentence you just said." Jared interrupted.

"Uh-likes me-kissed-hickies-makeup-confused-and I don't even know, Jared."

 

Jared went silent on the other end of the phone, which made Evan nervous. He could only imagine what was going through Jared's head right now, and he could only hope that he doesn't do anything crazy with the information he told him.

"Evan. I'm going to say this once. Okay?" Jared said, taking a deep breath.

"O-okay."

"Send pics. Or spooked."

 

Evan went through his phone options and clicked on the camera icon before taking a quick pic of the marks that were left from the night before. He was careful to only show the marks so that way Jared couldn't use the pics for blackmail.

"I just sent them." Evan said as soon as he was done. He heard Jared's phone vibrate before hearing him gasp.

"Holy. Shit." Jared said in shock. "Those are some pretty nasty-I mean very passionate-uh-marks you've got there, Evan. And you say you've got makeup, right?"

"Yeah, Connor bought me some last night." Evan answered, glancing across his room at the bottle of concealer he had on his bed side table.

"Okay, so what you're gonna want to do is basically smear that stuff all over the marks and pray to god that your mom doesn't notice!" Jared said with a laugh.

"Th-this isn't funny, Jared! What am I supposed to do about Connor?" Evan asked, looking for answers.

"Well, that's a stupid question. He likes you, you like him, you two made out-"

"I like Zoe!" Evan interrupted.

"Well, shit! Why the hell were you making out with Connor then? Don't tell me you got the Murphy siblings confused, because I'm almost positive that one has something the other doesn't-well, actually, now that I think about it, that wasn't too specific. What I meant to say was that Zoe's got boobs, and Connor's probably got a huge di-"

"Jared!" Evan shouted at the phone a little too loudly. He felt his face burning. If that wasn't bad enough, he heard footsteps coming down the hallway towards his room.

"Uh-oh."

"I take it Mommy Hansen is up. Better hide if you wanna live." Jared said with a laugh. He was obviously very amused by this situation, but Evan was terrified. He quickly hung up the phone and climbed into his bed before covering himself with the blankets.

"Evan?" Heidi knocked before entering his room. "Is everything okay? I heard you shouting."

"Uh-yeah! Everything is fine, mom!" Evan answered nervously from under the blankets.

"Are...are you sure everything is okay?" Heidi asked, wondering why her son was still in bed at this hour on a Saturday.

"Yes, mom! I'm perfectly okay!" Evan said, his voice cracking a little when he said the word 'perfectly'. Heidi was not convinced, but she wanted to take his word for it.

"Okie dokie then. Whatever you say, Ev." She said as she turned and began heading towards the door to Evan's relief. Before she reached the door, she stopped and turned around as if she had just remembered something.

"Oh! Ev, I've been meaning to ask. Who were you out with last night?"

"Oh-uh-a friend?" Evan cursed himself for letting it come out sounding like a question.

"A friend? Wow, that's great, Honey!" Heidi said, clapping her hands together in excitement. "What's their name?"

Evan shifted under the blanket, now becoming embarrassed considering he had said the name of his new 'friend' in a really odd way last night.

"C-C-Connor Murphy? I-uh-met him on the first day of school, b-but he's been there since kindergarten."

"Oh! He's the one who signed your cast, right?!" She exclaimed joyfully.

"Y-yep. That's-that's the one!" Evan replied, throwing in a nervous laugh. His mom went silent.

"Evan? Why-uh? Why do you have a bottle of concealer?"

This was it. This was the moment Evan Hansen died, and it wasn't even from comiting suicide. His mother wasn't stupid. She was bound to know why he had it in the first place! What other reason would a boy wear makeup for-oh!

"Oh! That-uh-I got a really really bad zit and Connor helped me buy it so I could cover it up since I was too afraid to talk to the lady at the makeup counter-he's really such a great friend-he even knows about my anxiety and doesn't judge me-and he helps me when I'm in a bind-he took me to see trees!" Evan said in a hurried ramble.

"Oh. Ohhh. Well, that's nice, Honey! I'd like to meet him sometime. You should invite him over." Heidi said happily. Wait. She actually believed him? Was he speaking too fast and she just ended up hearing another better excuse? Evan Hansen wasn't dead?

"Honey? You okay?" He heard his mom's voice line with concern.

"Yeah, I'm...I'm good." He said, finally taking a breather.

"Okay then, well, I'm going to head to work. There's money on the counter, and just in case, I'll put enough for you and your friend." She said.

"Okay, thanks, mom. You're the best."

"I try, Sweetie, I try." She said before leaving the room. Evan waited until he heard her car pull out of the driveway to uncover himself. That was a close call. He could only imagine what Connor was going through.

 

 

"Um-Connor? Where were you-uh-last night?" His mother asked awkwardly as she sat opposite to him at the dinner table. He raised his eyes from his bowl of cereal. He still had his hair picked up and was wearing his tank top and pajama pants.

"Since when do you want to know?" He asked her groggily. She looked down at her plate of bagels and cream cheese. Nice one Connor.

Connor let out a sigh and stirred his cereal in the bowl.

"I was with a friend." He said plain and simple. His mother looked up, surprised to have gotten some sort of answer from her son.

"Really? That's nice. So, what did-uh-you two do?" She asked, clearing her throat a bit.

"We went to the old orchard."

"Isn't that place closed down?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay." Cynthia replied. She glanced around the room, unsure of what to say. She had a question on her mind, but she didn't want to burn her bridges now that her son was actually communicating with her.

"Ask." Connor said, breaking the silence, looking down at his bowl.

"I'm sorry, what do you mean-"

"Mom. Ask." Connor pressed, unamused by her beating around the bush.

"Where did you get those hickies?" She asked, her words practically spilling out of her mouth. Connor smirked. He wanted her to ask this question, hence the reason why he had his hair up and was wearing his pajamas still since they reveal everything.

"Under a tree." He answered with a smug laugh.

"So-uh-are you in a relationship with this person?"

Connor wasn't ready for that question. As a matter of fact, it pissed him off. All he could think about was how unfair it was that Zoe of all people was the one to catch Evan's attention when he's the one who knows him more. The one who has spoken to him more.

"Hey, mom, can I borrow the car-holy crap. Connor, what the hell happened to your neck?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?!" Connor shouted, slamming his fists against the table top in anger, because speak of the devil! "What?! You think you can get everything you want, even when you don't fucking ask for it, huh?!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" She yelled back, equally as pissed.

"I finally have something that I want! Something only for me, and you-you just want to ruin it because you think I don't deserve jack shit because you're the good fucking little princess angel that knows how to play an instrument and I'm just the kid who threw a fucking printer at a teacher in the second grade and who has been voted 'most likely to grow up and become a school shooter' through most of my highschool career!"

"You've got fucking bruises on your neck! All I asked was what happened!"

"Zoe, you're a big girl. You know these aren't just bruises, so say the fucking word with me. Hick-ies. I have hickies!" Connor snapped at her, leaving her speechless.

There was a moment of silence as Connor calmed down his breathing. He swore to god though, that if she dared to even say a single word, he'd be out of there in no time.

After more silence, Connor looked up and saw Zoe in utter shock. It was nice to leave her speechless. He's finally proving to her that he can be just like any other normal human being. The thought put a smug smile on his face and he took in a deep breath before letting it out.

"Well, I'm gonna go out. Don't wait up since I'll probably even spend the night." He said pridefully before getting up and walking towards his room to change.

"Who?" Zoe asked, stopping him in his tracks. He felt his skin crawl as his blood began boiling slightly, but then another thought came to mind. And so, he turned around and gave his sister a smile.

"Someone you'll never have. It'll be over my dead body if you ever get them." Was all he said before turning around and walking to his room so he could change. He decided to pay a visit to the one responsible for the little marks on his neck.

 

 

"Okay. I'm here. Let's do this." Jared said after Evan opened the front door. Evan guided him towards the living room where the single bottle of concealer sat in the middle of the otherwise empty coffee table.

Evan sat on the floor at one end of the table and Jared sat on the other. The two just stared at the bottle of makeup, unsure of what to do.

"Did you try smearing it on top of the marks?" Jared asked.

"No-I looked it up on YouTube-you're not supposed to. Apparently there's a whole process?" Evan replied.

"What? No way, really?"

"Uhuh-the girls in the videos had a lot of different brushes and sponges that they used-not to mention the powders and other things."

"Well, we could start with sponges? Hang on, I'll B-R-B." Jared said, getting up and rushing into the kitchen. He rummaged around until he emerged back in the living room with a yellow and green sponge.

"That looks nothing like the ones they used." Evan said, pointing at the sponge.

"Evan, Evan, Evan. You need to learn to improvise! They're all still sponges, right? So it should get the work done!" Jared said, happily sitting down in his spot at the coffee table.

"I-I guess?" Evan said. He had never done this before, but how different could it be?

"What about the brushes and powder?" Evan asked.

"Uh-hmm-oh! Baking powder and-does your mom paint?"

"I think so?"

"Paint brushes! I'll get the baking powder, you get the brushes. Ready? Let's do this!" Jared exclaimed, rushing back into the kitchen. Evan hurried into the garage and looked around until he found a bin full of art supplies. He quickly grabbed the paint brushes and came back to the living where he found Jared stuffing his face with chips, a box of baking powder on the coffee table.

"Ready?" Jared asked, his mouth full of food.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Oh!-Remember to make sure that my face and my neck match! The girls in the videos said that it's really noticeable when they don't!"

"I gotcha covered, Ev. Just sit down and let the J-Man do his magic."

Evan felt like he was going to regret this...

 

 

Connor pulled up at Evan's house. Maybe he should've given the kid a heads up that he was coming? Could that trigger an unwanted reaction? Connor didn't think it would matter all that much. He knew he didn't actually get a chance to get Evan everything he needed so he could cover up the marks properly, so he stopped at the drugstore to get the works. Maybe that'll make him feel more relaxed? There was only one way to find out.

Connor walked up to the front door and heard a lot of incoherent arguing. At one point he could have sworn he heard someone shout, "I'm blending as best as I can!". He considered going back to his car, but pushed himself to ring the door bell. Suddenly everything was quiet and he heard shifting.

"Hello? C-Connor?!" He heard Evan say from behind the door.

"I'm here with more makeup shit for the marks." Connor said, holding up the bag.

"Thank god!" He heard someone else exclaim. Suddenly the door was swung open and he was pulled in.

Upon entering, Connor was greeted by two faces. Two, very messed up, powdery faces.

"What. The. Fuck." Was all he could get out.

 

"Did the Pillsbury dough boy have a hit and run on your faces?" Connor asked, looking at how pale the two boys looked. He also had to admit that he wasn't happy to see Jared there. Not one bit.

"Yeah, well, we've never done this shit before." Jared said, crossing his arms. That was when he noticed the marks running along Connor's neck. "You know, most couples just get matching charm bracelets or couple t-shirts, but I guess hickies work too." He laughed, making both Connor and Evan blush.

"Fuck off, Klienman. Why the fuck are you even here? And why is your face covered in this crap when Evan is the one who needs the cover up?" Connor said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! Every man deserves to feel beautiful at least once in his life! That's why I worked at Lush for a month." Jared replied proudly.

"You were fired, Jared." Evan groaned a reminder.

"Yeah, but you know what they say. Last one hired is the first one fired." Jared said with a shrug.

"You were eating the bathbombs." Evan said in confusion.

"Hey! You just don't understand!" Jared exclaimed in defence. Evan would never understand. Connor is confused and laughing unbelievably hard on the inside. This Kleinman kid didn't even need weed. He was a trip on his own.

"Anyways, Connor, do you think you could help us out?" Evan asked. Connor got closer to Evan, placing a hand on his cheek and examining it closer. Evan became a blushing mess. Was he going to kiss him right here in front of Jared?

"Is...is that fucking baking powder?" Connor asked, passing his thumb over Evan's cheek. Oh.

"We-we improvised. Jared said it would work." Evan replied shyly. Connor shot Jared a glare before rolling his eyes.

"And they say I'm the bad example." Connor said with a groan.

"Hey! He was the one who invited me over to help!" Jared said.

"Go wash your damn face before I physically kick your ass out of this house." Connor said. He couldn't believe he was in this situation.

"Right-o! B-R-B!" Jared said quickly as he ran to the closest bathroom. Evan stood in his spot, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"I-I guess I should go wash my face too, huh?" Evan said with a sheepish laugh.

"I gave you my number, Hansen, and he's the one you called for help?" Connor asked, slightly irritated.

"Uh-lesson learned?" Evan replied nervously. Connor tilted his head closer to Evan's face and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Good." Connor said with an irritated sigh. "Now go wash that crap off and then come back down here."

"O-okay! Just-uh-wait here!" Evan said as he began hurrying into the available bathroom. Connor watched as he disappeared up the stairs, kind of wishing he could have taken a couple pictures of his face like that before he went to wash it.

"$2 a pic." Jared said out of no where, hovering his phone in front of Connor's eyes. Damnit.

 

Evan came back downstairs to find Jared counting some money while Connor held his face in his hands groaning.

"Oh! Evan, you're back!" Jared exclaimed happily.

"Okay, let's get this over with. Hansen, sit on the couch." Connor said grumpily. Evan could only guess that Jared must have done something to piss off Connor, but Evan didn't want to get involved, so he walked over and sat across from Connor.

As soon as Evan sat down, Connor immediately got to work. Evan wondered how Connor knew how to do makeup so easily. Maybe he wore makeup often and Evan never noticed?

"This might tickle or whatever, so stay still." Connor warned as he picked up a makeup brush and brought close to Evan's neck. Evan shut his eyes so he wouldn't think about the foreign feel of the brush against his skin, along with the makeup.

Evan giggled slightly at the ticklish feeling of the brush going against his neck. He bit his bottom lip so that he'd keep from laughing out loud so he wouldn't move and mess Connor up. The brush kept moving, but then it stayed in one place for a really long time. Evan opened one of his eyes and saw that Connor had taken his phone out, so he just closed his eye again, thinking it was probably just a text he had to reply to. Soon enough the brush began to move again.

"I'm sitting on the opposite side of the room right now, and I could even see how gay that was." Jared laughed. Evan opened his eyes and saw Connor blushing and glaring at Jared. Then he had a mischievous look on his face.

"Alright, Hansen, you're all done." Connor said, giving Evan's thigh a quick squeeze before turning his attention back to Jared.

"You're up, Kleinman."

"Well, it's about time." Jared said, marching his way over to Connor.

Evan wasn't too sure about the look on Conner's face, but at the same time he figured that Jared had whatever was coming to him.

"Hope you don't mind the works, Kleinman, unless you're too chicken?"

"Me? Chicken? Bet! Give me your worst, emo boy!" Jared said, immediately accepting the challenge.

"Fine by me." Connor replied, looking like he was gonna be having more fun than Jared.

 

 

"No! You are not getting  _near_ me with that-that thing!" Jared yelled, running around the coffee table, trying to avoid Connor.

"I thought you weren't chicken, Kleinman?!" Connor shouted with an evil smile on his face as he tried going around the table to reach Jared. "Didn't know little Jared was afraid of an eyelash curler!"

"Uh-you mean medieval eye scoop?! Why would you even have that thing?!" Jared exclaimed, going the opposite direction of Connor.

"I swear to god, if you do not stay still I  _will_ jump over this coffee table, Kleinman!" Connor shouted.

"Yeah right! Oh-wait-no!"

It was too late. In a matter of seconds, Connor had Jared tackled to the ground after he had leaped over the small table. Evan had been sitting on one of the sofas, laughing until his sides hurt at the whole event as it had unfolded.

"Connor, get the fuck off of me!" Jared yelled, struggling against the boy on top of him.

"If you don't stay still, it will actually scoop your eyeball out and rip off your eyelid! Do you want that?!" Connor said through his teeth, keeping his grip on Jared.

"No!" Jared screamed the most incredibly girlish scream both Connor and Evan have ever heard. Evan was bent over from laughing so much.

"Then I suggest you H O L D S T I L L." Connor said angrily. Suddenly, Jared went limp, most likely frozen with fear.

"Good." Connor said, letting out a deep breath. He quickly brought the device to one of Jared's eyes and then repeated the action to the other before getting off of him.

"There. Done!" Connor said, collapsing onto the sofa that Evan was on and decided to lean his head on Evan's shoulder as he caught his breath. "Mirror is over there on the table." He pointed before closing his eyes and giving a smug grin.

Jared got up from his fetal position on the ground and grabbed the mirror, examing himself thoroughly. Evan could not stop laughing. He was besides himself and liked the fact that he was right about Jared deserving what he got.

"Laugh it up, Evan!" Jared said, dropping the mirror down. "I think I look fucking gorgeous!" 

Connor had apparently brought more makeup than necessary, so there Jared stood with green smokey eyeshadow, red lipstick, and eye liner with mascara. Not to mention the contour.

"Now that you got your fucking makeover could you please leave?" Connor groaned, unconsciously snuggling closer to Evan, making the boy blush.

"And miss out on the party? No way! You have to show me how you did all that." Jared insisted.

 "Why should I?" Connor asked, rolling his eyes.

"Hmm, I wonder?" Jared said, pretending to be thinking hard. "You've got me there!" He said with a shrug.

"Oh! Evan, why don't we go through Connor's phone? I bet he takes a lot of angsty emo aesthetic pics, right?" Jared said as he went to reach over to Connor's pocket for his phone. Connor gave Jared a look that could kill and he froze in his steps.

"Or-you know-not?" Jared said with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, I'd rather not invade his privacy." Evan said with a sheepish smile.

"God, you two are too rich. Never knew that my little Evan-"

" _Your_ little Evan?" Connor and Evan asked at the same time.

"Hey, no one has made any claims yet based off of what I've heard!" Jared said in his defence.

"Jared!" Evan shouted in a panic. Connor sat up and brought one of his arms behind Evan. He grabbed the collar of the polo and tugged it aside before pointing at it with his other hand. Sure enough, there was a large hickie that had been hidden by his shirt. He honestly didn't even notice it was there.

"Point taken." Jared said, trying to hold back a laugh as he watched Evan's face contort in panic.

"Connor, I th-thought you had covered them all!" He exclaimed in surprise. Connor shrugged.

"The shirt covers it just fine." He said, rolling his eyes. He also wanted to add the point that he didn't want Evan to forget what had happened between them, but he decided to leave the cheesy shit for another time when Jared fucking Kleinman wasn't around.

"What if my mom sees?-What if she thinks I had sex-then she'll take me to get tested-even though I'll tell her that I didn't and-"

"Just tell her your boyfriend gave it to you. It's not like it'll be the end of the world." Jared said with a snort.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Evan shouted. He immediately regretted saying that in front of Connor once he felt him tense.

He turned to face him and saw Connor clenching his jaw. Evan couldn't believe what he had done. He just knew he had to fix it.

"C-Connor, th-that's not what I meant t-to say."

"Right." Was the only reply he received, and it was a rather dry one at that. Evan didn't know what to do. Jared just pushed him into a bad situation and he was already starting to lose control of his breathing even though he was trying to keep calm.

"For fuck's sake, Murphy! Look what you did!" Jared said, gesturing to Evan who was currently a shaking mess. Connor froze. He had no idea what to do in this situation.

"God, Evan, go to your room and I'll explain what you meant." Jared said, rubbing the back of his neck. Evan immediately got up and began rushing up the stairs.

"There's a water bottle on your dresser!" Jared shouted after him before turning his attention to Connor, who looked very uncomfortable with the situation.

"Okay. I am going to be frank with you. I don't like you, and you don't like me, but we both have some sort of abstract feelings for the twerp-and before you put a gun to my head, no, I don't like him like that. He's a family friend and we were basically raised together." Jared said. Connor merely nodded his head to show that he was listening.

"Okay then. Long situation short, you haven't officially asked him out or to be your boyfriend or whatever, so of course he's going to react like that! The kid thinks of himself pretty poorly, so having someone who has been giving him the sort of attention that you've been giving him is really confusing since you haven't made things clear."

"He likes Zoe." Connor bit out.

"Well aware of this. However, what does the invisible score board show? Oh!-That's right! You and Evan have talked, made out-mabye even something more but I won't ask-and Zoe is a distant thought!"

Connor could see where Jared was coming from.

"Okay, so what should I do?"

"Build your relationship! Earn some trust! Why am I the one that has to tell you these things?" Jared asked with a laugh. Connor gave him a dirty look, because he could be asking himself the same damn question.

"Now, case closed. Ev, is in his room, and he just took his pill. Do something.-Well, nothing illegal since he is fragile, but something-"

"I get it, Kleinman." Connor said, biting his cheek because he hated what he was gonna say next.

"Thanks." He said, avoiding eye contact as he stood up and began walking towards the stairs.

"What was that?" Jared asked in shock.

"Fuckwad!" Connor shouted from the top of the stairs.

"Love you too, Asshole!" Jared shouted in reply. Connor rolled his eyes and knocked on Evan's door.

Evan opened the door slowly and kept his eyes glued to the ground. Connor wrapped an arm around him and guided him towards the bed and had him lay down. Evan looked at Connor in confusion when Connor joined him on the small bed, putting his hand behind his head and resting on it.

"Nap." Was all Connor said in response to Evan's expression. Evan nodded his head and turned over to face the side opposite to Connor. 

After a good fifteen minutes, Connor noticed that Evan was still not asleep, so he let out a sigh. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

" _Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars~_ " Connor started singing quietly. " _Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars~_ "

Connor continued singing the old song quietly, even when Evan turned around to look at him. He did his best to not look at Evan, but when he did take a glance at him, he didn't regret it. Evan's eyes were starting to close and soon enough he was out like a light.

Connor let out a yawn when he finished the song and decided to try and rest as well. The two just stayed there sleeping.

Jared snickered to himself after peeking through the crack in the door.

"Totally gay." He said before heading downstairs to order pizza with the money Evan's mom left for them. 

"The insanely cool Jared Kleinman strikes again!" He said proudly. There was no way in hell he wasn't going to take the credit for these two getting together. He made a mental note to remind them when they woke up that they had better let him speak at their wedding.


	4. "Did you just say I have a big dick?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Morning." Connor said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep.
> 
> "Morning." Evan replied, giving Connor a smile as he felt himself melt against the taller boy.
> 
> "It's five in the afternoon." Jared groaned, taking a bite of pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly so happy to know that you guys like the story so far, like you have no idea, lol  
> I even received my first couple of asks on Tumblr about the story and it put the biggest smile on my face along with all the comments I've been reading (I've probably read each comment from every chapter about a hundred times before getting started on this one xD )
> 
> Personal Update: So, I actually wrote this chapter along with chapter 3 from my mother's hospital room. I've been here since the 4th because my mom had a stroke and I've been taking care of her. She's doing pretty good for the situation. She can talk and move her left arm and leg and see out of her left eye, but I can't say the same for the right side of her body.
> 
> I've been staying up late making sure she has everything that she needs, so it might be tough for me to update a lot for a bit, but whenever I get the chance I'll be sure to write and work on a chapter. I'm also really sorry that this chapter came out so short compared to the others xP
> 
> Thank you all for reading and enjoying the story so far, and thank you so so much for all of the comments, kudos, and bookmarks :)

Evan felt a comforting warmth wrapped around him. He couldn't even remember the last time that he's slept this well. He normally gets night terrors, but this warmth made him feel safe.

He buried his face against the source of warmth and took in a deep breath. He felt whatever it was shiver and hold him a little tighter. It wasn't until he felt a kiss against his forehead that he began to open his eyes and officially wake up.

Evan's eyes met Connor's. Connor looked at him softly, unlike those other times that he saw him with those cold glares. The soft blue eyes made Evan appreciate his favorite color all the more.

"Morning." Connor said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep.

"Morning." Evan replied, giving Connor a smile as he felt himself melt against the taller boy.

"It's five in the afternoon." Jared groaned, taking a bite of pizza. Connor and Evan quickly sat up and untangled from each other.

"What the fuck, Kleinman?" Connor shouted.

"Hey, it's about time you two Sleeping Beauties woke up. Pizza's down stairs." Jared laughed with his mouth full before leaving the room. Connor and Evan were left alone in the room once again. Evan blushed, suddenly aware of the position they were in. They stayed quiet, avoiding eye contact until Evan cleared his throat.

"U-um, thank you for-uh-well, everything." Evan said sheepishly as he glanced at Connor. Connor shrugged and gave a small sad smile.

"It was my fault. Plus," Connor glanced back at Evan with his cheeks slightly pink. "I really don't like seeing you like that. I got really worried and I wanted to help you, you know?"

"Right." Evan laughed nervously. They were now looking at each other. Admiring one another in their own special ways. They felt themselves gravitating towards each other slowly.

Suddenly, Evan's phone ended the silence by alerting them both that he had a notification. Evan reached for his phone on the bed side table and checked the message he had received.

 

 **Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** hi Evan this is Zoe! I know that this is a weird question but is my brother Connor with you?

 

Evan read and reread the message to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Zoe Murphy actually messaged him first. The moment, however, was short lived when Connor snatched his phone out of his hand and read it himself.

Evan couldn't tell you exactly what Connor was feeling, but quite a few emotions crossed his expression. Evan looked at Connor, wishing he could read his mind, wishing he could get something out of him.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that for?" Connor snapped at Evan, making him flinch.

"You look upset, and-and I want to talk to you about it-maybe we could find out why you're upset-but, I mean-if...Sorry." Evan said, taking in a deep breath before moving closer to Connor.

Evan was now on his knees on the bed, placing both hands on Connor's shoulder. Connor looked beyond pissed.

"What the fuck are you doing, Hansen? Do you think this is some kind of feel better sharing circle? Go fucking message my sister." Connor said, throwing Evan's phone across the room roughly. Evan could feel himself begin to shake. "You two are  _such_ good friends, right?"

"She's-she's never messaged me before." Evan stuttered out.

"Then today must be a good day for you, huh, Evan Hansen?" Connor replied sarcastically. The comment did hurt Evan. The tears were already trying to escape, but he didn't want Connor to see. He knew that Connor was just angry with his sister. He had to remind Connor somehow that he isn't actually angry at Evan.

With his good hand, Evan tilted Connor's chin up so he would look him in the eyes. Connor looked into Evan's eyes bitterly at first, but after noticing the shine of forming tears his expression changed to one of worry.

Connor looked like he was about to say something, but Evan cut him off by pulling him into a kiss. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor's neck and Connor's hands quickly went to Evan's hips. At first, Connor pulled Evan closer, but then he gently pushed Evan away slightly and breaking the kiss.

"Why are you kissing me? I probably just broke your phone and-"

"I care about you, Connor." Evan replied, looking into Connor's eyes, which in turn widened.

"I-I will tell you the truth though, okay? I'm-I'm still not sure about this whole thing, but that's just because I'm really stupid a lot of the time and-"

"Evan." Connor interrupted, drawing Evan's attention.

"You're not stupid." He said, bringing a hand to carress his cheek. Soon enough, as if by instinct, Connor was lowering Evan onto his back in the bed, with his head resting on the pillow. Connor hovered over Evan for a moment, seeking permission this time around, which was granted by a silent nod from Evan while he bit at his lip slightly. Connor wasted no time climbing on top of him.

Connor brushed his lips against Evan's desperately, kissing him hard. Evan's good hand made it's way into Connor's hair and gave it a gentle tug as it seeked something to grab onto. The kissing felt so passionate, like it could go on for hours.

"Hey are you guys coming down for pizza or-OH MY GOD!-You guys, it's called 'making up'-not 'making out'! My virgin eyes!" Jared screeched after witnessing the scene. Evan was about to sit up, but Connor pushed him back against the bed before turning around to glare at Jared.

"Oh, go eat a fucking bath bomb, Kleinman!" He snapped.

"Hey! You do  _not_ have the right to bring that up!"

"Okay, then go shove one up your ass for all I care!"

"Oh!-So just because you're Connor Murphy, I should just go do what you say? You know what? Fine! I'm gonna head into Heidi's bathroom right now and shove _one_   _thousand_ bath bombs up my virgin ass! Would that be a large enough amount for you, O' King of Huge Dicks!"

There was a silence as Connor and Evan (who raised his head up from the pillow to look at Jared) stared in confusion. It was at this moment Jared knew, he fucked up.

"Did you just say I have a big dick?" Connor asked.

"What?-Fuck no!"

"Uh-actually you did." Evan pitched in.

"Hey!-No one asked you, Evan!" Jared snapped. "You all simply misheard." He said, crossing his arms.

"No, you called him the king of big dicks." Evan said.

"No!-I mean-I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that since he's such a huge dick-"

"You said you were preparing yourself for my huge dick." Connor smirked.

"Hey!-I'm not the one making out and grinding against another boy here! Any and all comments that I made were out of sheer irony for your sexuality." Jared defended himself.

"Oh! So that's why you're here! You want to make fun of the gay guy, right? You wanted to see something gay happen!" Connor called Jared out.

"Fuck no!" Jared said, his entire face going red. Evan noticed this and felt like messing with Jared a little more as pay back for all the times he had picked on him. He just hoped that Connor would play along.

"Connor~" Evan moaned, rubbing his good hand against Connor's chest, immediately turning red and praying that he didn't just mess this whole thing up. Connor turned his attention back to Evan in shock, but quickly picked up the plan from the attempted wink that Evan gave.

"Oh? You like that, Baby?" Connor said, grinding his hips against Evan.

"More~!" Evan squeeled as he made an attempt to buck up against Connor's movement. Suddenly the two boys realized just how bad this idea was as things became...harder, but it certainly got the reaction they wanted out of Jared.

"S T o  o O P P p p!" Jared screeched in a high pitch tone while covering his face with his hands. Suddenly all three of them heard a door slam and they went still. Footsteps were quickly making their way up the stairs and they heard Evan's mom shout, "Is everything okay?!" As she was making her way up.

The door flung open and Heidi stared as the boys stayed in their spots, frozen. The scene was definitely one to get some mothers thinking. Jared had gotten a makeover and Evan was beneath a boy who had hickies on his neck.

"Um-I heard someone scream?" Heidi asked in confusion. Evan and Connor were bright red. Connor made his way off of Evan, but that didn't help either of the two boys hide the situation.

"Mom, weren't you-uh-supposed to be back-"

"Earlier, Ms. Hansen?" Jared intervened. Heidi focused her attention on him now.

"Jared? You-uh-"

"I know, I look beautiful, huh? Connor over there learned how to do makeup because of his sister bothering him so much, right, Con-Con?" Jared said, swiftly taking control of the situation.

"Uh, yeah. She's pretty lazy, so she made my parents force me to take the classes so I could do her makeup or they won't pay for my car insurance." Connor half lied.

"Oh! So you're the Connor I've heard so much about!" Heidi exclaimed in joy, remembering what Evan had told her, sweeping the scene from earlier under the rug.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Hansen." Connor said politely, offering his hand for a hand shake.

"The pleasure is mine! Oh!-And I saw you guys ordered pizza! Do I hear a sleepover in the works?" She asked happily. The three boys looked at each other before turning their attention back to Heidi, simultaneously agreeing with, "Yeah, totally!", "Sounds good to me.", and "Sure?".

"Well, I'll leave you boys alone for now then. I've got classes tonight which is why I had wanted to get in touch with your mom to cancel dinner, Jared." Heidi informed him.

"No worries, Ms. H! I'll let her know." Jared replied.

"Thank you so much! Well, I'll be off then! Love you, Honey. Have fun!" Heidi said, leaving the room. Everyone silently stared at the door to Evan's room as they heard Heidi's footsteps go down the stairs. After they heard the front door close, Jared spoke.

"Try doing gay shit in front of me again and I'm telling mommy Hansen that her sweet Evan is taking one up the butt by the school's bad boy." He said, facing them and giving them a devious smirk. Both boys groaned in agreement. After all, Jared did fix their little mess.

"Alrighty then! Pizza!-Downstairs! Leggo, because I'm not leaving you two unsupervised while I'm in the same house. Too much of a risk for Evan getting preg-" Jared was interrupted by a pillow that was chucked against his face.

"Okay, we get it, Kleinman." Connor said before walking over to Evan and grabbing his hand.

"You guys are gonna give me diabetes." Jared laughed.

"Doesn't your dad have diabetes?" Evan asked, suddenly remembering the information.

"Evan, I was kidding. You guys won't give me diabetes, but you will make me puke." This time it was Evan who had chucked the pillow, making Jared laugh like a lunatic as he dashed out of the room, the two boys following after him hand in hand and only separating when they decided to corner Jared in the hallway while wielding couch cushions.

 

The evening dragged on as the three boys got to know each other more. Each of them learned something new that day. Jared discovered that he could piss Connor off in a matter of 5.4 seconds (he timed it). Connor discovered that he really really hates Jared, but he's willing to put up with the guy just long enough to make Evan happy. Evan discovered that he really liked the way Connor was willing to do that. Lately everything that Connor did to or for Evan made his heart flutter and his cheeks turn pink. He knew he'd eventually have to come to admit what he was feeling, but at the same time he didn't want to do something about it only to find out that he was the only one feeling whatever 'it' was.

 

The three boys sat on the couch eating popcorn while watching a random horror movie channel on TV. Jared was hugging his knees, captivated by the movie, making jokes here and there while Evan and Connor sat closely together. At one point, Evan jumped up a bit from being frightened, but he was pulled against Connor at the same time, so he had nearly ended up on Connor's lap. Evan had almost made the choice to sit on Connor, but decided against it after Jared threw some popcorn at them. After the movie ended, they brought all the blankets and pillows downstairs to the living room so they could hit the hay.

"Con-Con, can you do special effects makeup?" Jared asked randomly after they had all gotten comfortable on their makeshift sleeping mats.

"I don't think I've tried, so I don't know." Connor replied honestly.

"I think you'd be good at it. I mean, you already do so well with regular makeup, so why not try learning something even more impressive? Maybe it's your calling, ya know?" Jared suggested. In all honesty, Connor had never thought about having a calling, or even having a future. He thought about ending his life so many times that he had forgotten that there was such a thing as life after high school. This left Connor thinking, even after Jared had gone to sleep.

"Connor?" Evan whispered, getting closer to him. Connor turned onto his side so he could face Evan.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

"I think you should do it. Working with makeup." Evan said softly.

"Why? Who would pay me of all people to do their makeup." Connor gave a quiet, dry laugh.

"I think it's worth a shot. I'll even let you practice on me." He replied with a smile. Connor stayed staring at Evan. How could someone so optimistic feel the same way that Connor does about his own life? He thought about the tree, and Evan's arm. Evan could sense something was wrong, so he cuddled closer.

"Evan? Can I keep you?" Connor asked after a while of quiet. He felt the slow rise and fall of Evan's chest against his own and knew he was asleep. He so desperately wanted Evan to answer, but he decided he'd need to wait a while longer before asking the boy while he was awake. Mostly because, Connor didn't feel like he was brave enough. Most of his life he had felt unloved, forgotten, and had heard his name and his integrity be butchered by his fellow classmates along with his own family. He had felt as if he had no place in this world, nor that he would have one in the next.

Having Evan here with him brought him the smallest bit of hope. Hope that he could actually have a place, or something to live for. Someone to hold onto when things got rough. Zoe used to be that person for Connor, but she ended up growing to be more like their father. Connor despised her because of it. He really couldn't understand why Evan had a crush on someone who was like his dad. Jared's words about the invisible scoreboard from today came to Connor's mind.

Connor pulled out his phone and turned the brightness on low. He hugged Evan against him and took a quick picture before checking it. He was pleased with how it came out considering it was so dark. He swiped through his gallery and saw the pictures that Jared had sent him of Evan with baking powder on his face and laughed a little, trying his best not to move so he wouldn't wake the boy up. He had spent the money that he usually used to buy his weekly fix just to get these pictures from the dumbass, but he didn't regret it. He was going to try to get better, even if it's just that he quits smoking. Any small thing is enough.

He kept swiping through the photos until he arrived at one in particular. He shuddered as he gazed at the image of Evan, his eyes closed while he tilted his head back slightly and bit at his lower lip. Jared had almost ruined his chances of keeping the photo, but because of him, he got something even more surprising to use for later. He did his best not to think of it now though since Evan was right against him. He had to keep himself in control.

"Connor~" Evan whined quietly, startling him. He quickly locked his phone and out it under his pillow.

"Yeah?" He whispered back.

"Go to sleep~ You need to rest." Evan continued, snuggling closer to Connor. Connor's smile grew smug.

"I dunno, Hansen. I feel like someone forgot about good night-" Evan's lips were against his own in no time. Evan went from Connor's lips to down his jaw before burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"Sleep~" Evan said, arms wrapped around Connor, holding him closely.

"Okay, okay, I will." Connor chuckled, closing his eyes, basking in the feeling of having Evan so close.

"W-wait, before you do, there's something I-I want to tell you." Evan stuttered out.

"Okay, what's up?" Connor replied with a chuckle.

"I...I like kissing you...and being near you, and t-talking with you." Evan said, thanking god that it was too dark for Connor to notice how red his face was. Connor felt his face grow warm, and the thought of asking Evan the question from earlier remained on his mind.

"That's...That's good. I like doing those things with you too." He replied quietly.

"Would you two quit being gay for like five minutes so I can sleep? I swear, if I have a dream where I'm the third wheel, I'm going to kick all of your asses with my krav maga skills." Jared said, startling both of them.

"You were kicked out of class because you didn't want to do anything." Evan groaned, reminding him.

"Hey! That's not true! I hit that practice dummy so hard that it fell over, remember!" Jared exclaimed.

"Jared, it was one of those dummies that never fall over. You wacked it, it toppled backward for a second, and then came back, knocking you unconscious."

"Those things are to prepare black belts, like me, for a real battle."

"Black belt? You were in the class for a week. I think the most you accomplished was getting the teacher to say, 'What the fuck?' in front of a bunch of ten year olds." Evan said casually. Connor and Jared both gasped.

"What? What happened?" Evan asked, confused.

"I've never heard you swear before." Connor laughed a little.

"Yeah, you never do it, so when you do it's a big shock to hear those big words come out of your mouth. Kind of horrifying really." Jared said, bending over with laughter.

"Wait, you guys thought I don't say bad words?" Evan asked.

"Almost feels like one of the signs for the apocalypse." Jared explained. "One of the seven seals."

Evan took in a deep breath.

"Ass, fuck, shit, crap, titty, dick, motherfuck-" Evan had started before Jared started screeching for him to stop while Connor was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes.

"Two seals have been broken!" Jared exclaimed. "The innocent one said dirty wordies, while the hardcore emo laughed."

It wasn't long before they were attacking Jared with the couch pillows again. Of course, Heidi came home shortly after and sent the boys to bed. When Heidi left the area, Evan snuggled against Connor again and quickly fell asleep.

Even though they won't admit it to each other, today was the best day ever for all of them, and they looked forward to doing this again.


	5. "You're Not Very Nice."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did he say you could touch him?" Connor asked, his glare as cold as ice.
> 
> "Did he say _you_ could touch him?" Zoe shot back at him. Connor smirked before letting his hand play around with Evan's collar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly so happy with all the positive feedback that I've been receiving so far, and all of your comments put a huge smile on my face! ^^
> 
> Thanks you guys for the comments, and I really hope that you all enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> As you've all probably noticed by now, I use quotes from the chapters as chapter titles because I have no idea how to do the thingy with picking good names, lol  
> So, until I do anything else for chapter titles, enjoy the extra sneek peak at the chapters xD
> 
> Feel free to comment your thoughts and suggestions here, or if you'd like, you can send me a message on Tumblr @theoperaghostsstudent :)
> 
> Personal Update:  
> My mom is finally out of the hospital! :D  
> Also, I added a new tag to the story, lol

"Evan, wake up! It's time to get ready for school, Honey." Heidi said, knocking on his door. Evan stirred slightly, slowly waking up. 

The weekend had come and gone, along with the first sleepover that he's had in a long time. Evan remembered how everyone had said their good bye's and went home, and how Connor had called him as soon as he was in his room.

Evan felt a warmth growing in his chest whenever he thought of Connor, and that was something he never thought would happen. He's replayed their kisses and the way Connor had sung him to sleep more times than he can count. Evan wondered if Connor would be skipping today or not. He hoped they could eat lunch together. He hoped for a lot of things.

Evan's phone interrupted his thoughts, alerting him that he had received a new message.

 

 **cmurphy:** morning

 

Evan smiled at the message. Sure, it wasn't anything major or sweet in all honesty, but it was Connor and he was messaging him instead of sleeping in, and that was sweet in it's own way.

 

 **EvanHansen:** Good morning :)

 **EvanHansen:** Did you sleep well?

 

 **cmurphy:** u could say that ya

 

 **EvanHansen:** That's good

 **EvanHansen:** lol

 

 **cmurphy:** gotta admit though

 **cmurphy:** rlly wish u could have been here w/ me

 

Evan blushed at the message. He thought back to how comfortable it was, sleeping so closely to Connor, and how warm it felt. His thoughts were interrupted by Heidi entering his room with another knock.

"Hey, Honey. I was wondering if we could talk." She said sweetly as she approached him. Evan locked his phone quickly, putting in his pocket before giving his mom a smile.

"Uh-sure. What about?"

"Well," Heidi began as she sat down beside her son. "I'd...I'd like to talk to you about that boy you brought over. Connor, was it?"

"Y-yeah, his name is Connor. What about him?" Evan asked, nervousness lining his voice.

"Well, before I get into anything, I'd like to ask you if you thought I was born yesterday." She said as she pulled out the bottle of concealer from her pocket before placing it in Evan's hand.

"Wha-what do you mean?" Evan asked.

"Makeup doesn't last forever, Honey." Heidi said with a sigh, pointing at his neck. Evan swallowed hard. Last time he was worried she would kill him, but now she brought up Connor.

"What d-does this have to do w-with Connor?" Evan asked, trying to play innocent, but still very confused.

"For starters, for a kid who's good at doing makeup, he sure as hell ignores doing his own." Heidi said with a small laugh. Evan looked at her confused. Heidi noticed this and took another deep breath.

"Listen, I'm really happy that you made a friend-and I'm not going to keep you two apart! I...I just want you to be honest with me, okay? Are you two in a relationship?"

Evan began to sweat. He didn't know what to say, especially since he's been wondering that exact same question.

"No, we're not." Evan replied, because it was the truth after all.

"Then who gave you those hickies?" She asked in desperation.

"Mom, it-it's really nothing, okay? I have to finish getting ready for school." Evan said sadly. His mother gave him a sad smile before letting out another sigh.

"Okay, but I want you to know that I'm here-and even if I'm not exactly here, here, I'm only a phone call or text message away, okay?" Heidi said, reaching for Evan's hands and holding them in her own.

"Of course, mom. I know." Evan said with a smile.

"And you know you can talk to me about anything and it will be a no judging zone, right?" She said.

"Yes, mom." Evan said with a nervous chuckle as he rolled his eyes. Heidi stayed there for a moment longer, holding her son's hands, wondering for a moment when he had gotten so big, before getting up and heading towards the door.

"Don't forget. Base, concealer, then powder." She said with a small smile before leaving and closing the door behind her.

'Base, concealer, then powder.' Evan repeated in his mind as he went to search for the other two products.

 

 

Evan walked through the hallway, self conscious about whether or not he did a good job with the makeup. He hoped that they were hidden, although he left the one hidden under his shirt since Connor did have a point about it not showing. He felt anxiety creep in as he felt a pair of eyes staring at him. Evan changed his pace so he could get away from the eyes that were on him.

"Evan!" He heard a voice call his name and spin him around by grabbing his arm. To his surprise, it was Zoe Murphy calling his attention.

"Oh, h-hey, Zoe!" He greeted with a stutter. His anxiety levels were high, so he tried his best to control his breathing.

"How come you didn't message me back the other day?" She asked, straight to the point.

"Huh?-What do you-"

"I sent you a text asking if my brother was with you. You read the message, but didn't reply." She said, crossing her arms and giving a small pout. Did he just disappoint her? How was he supposed to explain that he had forgotten to text her back because he was too busy making out with her brother?

Evan toyed with the hem of his shirt, avoiding eye contact. He focused on keeping his breathing in check before saying something stupid. Wait-no, he wasn't going to say something stupid. At least, he hoped he wouldn't.

"Evan?" Zoe called his attention again.

"Oh!-Right! The text!" He said with a nervous chuckle. "Uh-"

"What do you want?" Evan heard a voice bite out before feeling an arm slug over his shoulder. Evan tilted his head up and saw Connor glaring at his sister.

"What's it to you?" She bit back. Evan was wondering how he had gotten into this situation when all he wanted to do was get to class. Zoe placed a hand on Evan's arm.

"I'll message you la-"

"Why the fuck are you touching him?" Connor said, swatting her hand away.

"Hey! I'm not doing anything wrong! And why do you care?" Zoe snapped, glaring at her brother before shooting Evan an apologetic look.

"Did he say you could touch him?" Connor asked, his glare as cold as ice.

"Did he say  _you_ could touch him?" Zoe shot back at him. Connor smirked before letting his hand play around with Evan's collar. The situation felt a lot like the one from the other day when Connor had tug his collar aside to show Jared the mark he had left on Evan. This made Evan nervous, so he quickly grabbed onto Connor's hand, using his other arm to bring it around his waist.

Evan and Connor exchanged a look. Well, it was mostly Evan pleading with his eyes for Connor not to show the mark. Connor gave a small nod before turning back to look at his sister, a smirk still on his face. Sure, it wasn't exactly what he wanted, but having Evan's arm around him was proof enough for Zoe.

"I think that should answer your question." Connor said with a short, dry chuckle.

"Oh, please! You scared him into doing that! You psychopa-"

"He didn't scare me into anything." Evan defended, giving Zoe a confused look. Connor bit the inside of his cheek to keep quiet. He knew that Evan could handle the situation better than he could at the moment. Connor probably would have been yelling at her already if Evan hadn't said anything.

"What do you mean?" Zoe asked, confusion written on her face.

"Connor's my friend. Why would he scare me?" Evan asked, deeply upset by Zoe's comment about Connor. Zoe stood back slightly. She was shocked that such a timid guy would be defending her brother and calling him of all people a friend.

"You're... You're kidding, right?" She asked, keeping an eye on his body language in case he was secretly trying to send an S.O.S.

"Of course not. And you know something? You're not very nice." Evan said before looking up at Connor again. "C'mon, let's go to class."

The two boys walked away from a frozen in place Zoe, but not before Connor stuck his tongue out at her without Evan noticing. Zoe had no idea what she just witnessed. How could someone who was spending time with her brother say that  _she_ wasn't nice? The entire situation puzzled her.

She quickly pulled out her phone. Not wanting to be in bad waters with Evan, she texted him a quick apology for her behavior and let him know that she normally did not behave like that.

"Everything alright, Zo?" Alana asked, approaching her. Zoe looked up at Alana, giving her an exasperated look.

"No! Nothing's alright! Evan Hansen basically just called me mean and defended Connor from a comment I made." Zoe said with a huff.

"Whoah. Wait-what?" Alana said in surprise. "Well, what did you say?"

Zoe crossed her arms and looked away with a pout.

"I...I told Connor that he had scared Evan into putting his arm around him and I was about to call him a psychopath."

Alana gave Zoe a sad look before her eyes went wide.

"Wait, did you just say that Evan put his arm around Connor?" She asked.

"Yeah, and Connor had his around Evan." Zoe informed her.

"And you still don't think there might be something going on between them? I mean, Connor does have those marks on his neck-"

"They're hickies, Alana. Just call them what they are." Zoe said with a sigh.

"Right, well he has hickies and the only person he's been around has been Evan. So, maybe they're... You know?" Alana said, raising her eyebrows.

"Impossible. I looked at Evan's neck and there's not a single mark. Based off of how my brother's neck looks, whoever he was making out with must have it ten times worst." Zoe said, biting the inside of her cheek while thinking about everything.

"You've got a point." Alana said with a sigh. They stood there for a bit, just thinking of possible answers to this mystery.

"Well, you two look troubled."

The two girls looked towards the direction of the person speaking, only to see Jared riding through the hallway with his heeleys.

"Is it that obvious?" Zoe asked, rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh.

"Oh! Wait-Jared! You're friends with Evan, right?" Alana asked, an idea sparking inside her head. Jared pulled up beside them and tucked the wheels in his shoes away before giving a curious look.

"Uh-yeah, I guess? Why do you ask?"

"Well, he's been spending a lot of time with Connor, and recently, it looks like Connor-"

"Got into a heated make out and you want me to find out if it was Evan who did it? Huh?" Jared said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, actually." Alana said.

"Could you help us?" Zoe said, her expression turning hopeful. Jared brought his hands up and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, I only even talk to the kid so that my parents will keep paying my car insurance." Jared said before shoving his hands in his pockets. "Family friend thing, you know?"

"And he said  _I_ wasn't nice." Zoe mumbled, letting out another huff.

"Whoah, who said that? Was it-was it Evan?" Jared asked in shock.

"Yeah. Zoe made some comments to Connor and Evan defended him and basically called her mea-" Alana was interrupted by Zoe smacking her arm gently and giving her a look of warning.

"Sorry." Alana said, rubbing her arm a bit. Zoe felt bad for reacting that way and gave Alana an apologetic look.

"Well, I didn't know that Evan had it in him." Jared said with a laugh before walking away from the girls.

"Wait! Are you going to help us or not?" Zoe called out after him.

"Sorry, but you know what they say!-Snitches get stitches, and where your brother is involved, you can count me out!" He said with another laugh before popping out the wheels and rolling away down the halls. As soon as he turned the corner, he wore a proud look on his face. Connor and Evan owed him  _big time._

Zoe looked absolutely hopeless. A million things were flying around in her head and they all involved her brother.

"Zo?" Alana called her attention and bringing her back to earth.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, A. I just...I have so much on my mind." Zoe said with a sad sigh.

"Talk to me then, Zoe. Is there a reason why you're so obsessed with Connor's relationship with Evan?" Alana said, placing a hand on Zoe's shoulder. Zoe took in a deep breath and let it go.

"I don't know...I guess...I just don't think it's fair." Zoe said sadly.

"What do you mean?" Alana asked, confused.

"I mean, he and I used to be so close and something happened and now we're not. Seeing him with Evan is giving me a glimpse of a side of my brother that I haven't seen since we were kids, and I don't think it's fair." 

Alana looked at Zoe and gave her a sad smile.

"Hey, maybe things'll change now that Evan's in the picture?" Alana suggested. Zoe snorted.

"Are you kidding me? If I even so much as mention his name, Connor tries to bite my head off."

"Maybe there's a reason why? Could he be worried about something?"

"Who knows?" Zoe sighed sadly. Suddenly her expression changed into a mischievous look. "But, I think I've got a plan."

 

 

"Try talking to her?" Evan suggested during lunch as he and Connor sat in a corner in the library to eat. 

"Why should I?" Connor replied, shoving a fry into his mouth with one hand and using the other to hold up a book. 'The Little Prince' was the title of this one. Connor had mentioned it was his favorite, but that his copy got messed up for some reason. He didn't want to tell Evan why.

Evan layed down his head on Connor's lap and looked up at him.

"I mean, I know you two argue a-a lot-but maybe there's a solution that you two can get to?" Evan said, giving Connor a shy smile. Connor rolled his eyes but gave Evan a half smile when he looked down at him.

"Not gonna happen, Hansen. Zoe and I can't fix things that easily." Connor said before looking away for a moment, staring at nothing sadly, but almost in a mad way. "Things are too broken." He mumbled.

Evan sat up, readjusting himself so that he could sit beside Connor and lean his head on his shoulder.

"You're touchy today." Connor commented with a smirk. Evan immediately lifted his head away.

"Sorry-I just-I just thought-um-that-uh-"

"Relax, Evan." Connor said, using his free hand to guide Evan's head back against his shoulder. "I didn't say it was a bad thing." He added before putting his arm around Evan, placing his hand on Evan's thigh.

Evan blushed at the closeness, but took it in all the same. Connor closed his book and set it aside in favor of leaning his head on Evan's. The two relaxed in the position for a while before Evan spoke up.

"What are we?" Evan asked in a whisper. Connor chuckled a little.

"What do you think?" He asked in return.

"I-..." Evan stopped himself from continuing. He sat up and switched from sitting to kneeling beside Connor, looking at him before continuing. "I need you to tell me? I don't know why that came out like a question-It's just I've never done things like this and I feel really stupid having to ask-but at the same time I don't know because we haven't talked about it much, and I just want to-..."

Evan stopped himself again and took a deep breath. Connor was staring at him, listening to his rambling. Evan brought himself closer to Connor, looking him in the eyes.

"I want to know...what I am to you." Evan finally got out. Connor sat there quiet, making Evan nervous. Had he just made the biggest mistake in his life? Was this going to ruin their 'this' or whatever kind of relationship that 'this' was?

"You need to be more specific." Connor said, giving him half a smile.

"Do you...do you see me as more than just a friend?-Am I more than just a friend?-Do you wanna-sorry, I'm rambling again-" Evan was able to get out before Connor leaned in and pressed his lips against Evan's. The kiss was brief, but gentle and perfect.

"Evan. I-...I like you." Connor said in a whisper, his cheeks going pink. They were barely apart, to the point where their noses were still touching.

"I...I think I like you too." Evan started. "No-wait. I-I know I like you too." He said, giving Connor a goofy smile. Connor's eyes went wide and he froze, staring at Evan.

Suddenly, tears started rolling down Connor's cheeks, sending Evan into a panic.

"Connor-are you oka-"

Connor brought him into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"Shut up. Stay like this." Connor got out shakily before sobbing against Evan. Evan quickly wrapped his arms and held Connor against him. He made hushing sounds, and even tried humming a tune. Evan could feel Connor's warm tears falling onto his neck.

After a while, Connor stopped shaking and his breathing returned to normal. Connor pulled away slowly, using the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe his eyes and using his hair to cover his face.

Evan felt too curious, so he tucked Connor's hair behind his ear, revealing his red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. He rested his hand against Connor cheek, caressing it and giving Connor a sweet smile.

Connor chuckled a little, returning the smile slightly while still wiping his eyes.

"God, what am I going to do with you, Evan Hansen?" Connor asked out loud.

"W-well, I was thinking more kissing-or hugging-and-and-refering to each other as...Well, never mind. I don't even know if that's what it is yet." Evan replied with a small laugh.

"Say it." Connor encouraged. Evan swallowed hard.

"Am I-...Are you-...Are we-"

"A couple?" Connor helped out. Evan nodded eagerly.

"I mean, if you wanna be-"

Evan barely gave Connor a chance to finish his sentence before crashing his lips against Connor's.

"Oh!-There you guys are-YOU KIDDING ME?! Twice in a row?!-Really?!" Jared exclaimed, holding his hands out in front of him so he wouldn't be able to see.

"Yes, Kleinman?" Connor groaned, moving Evan so that he could sit him on his lap.

"Really?-Making the view even worse? You know what?-Whatever. I came here to tell you that Zoe is trying to get some dirt on you and your 'special friend'." Jared put in quotations. Connor gave him a sly grin.

"What? What's going on?" Jared asked. He was both confused and worried by the look Connor had given him.

"Boyfriend." Connor corrected him, beaming with pride.

"Awesome!-I fully support you and Evan's choice to be homosexuals together, and I'm proud that you two dumbasses finally confessed-however, I think you're gonna be in some deep shit if what I heard earlier is true. And considering the fact that you two can't keep your hands off of each other for two seconds, it's gonna be tough. Sorry, Evan." Jared stated.

"What do you mean?" Evan asked.

"Explain, Kleinman." Connor said, very confused by what he was trying to say. Suddenly, Connor's phone was ringing and the caller I.D. showed it was his mom.

Connor held Evan closely against him as he answered the call.

"Yeah?" Connor answered.

"Hey, Connor! Just wanted to say that I'm looking forward to meeting your new friend during dinner tonight! I already spoke to his mom and she said it was okay for you to drive him over, and for him to sleepover if he'd like. By the way, what kind of dessert does he like?" Cynthia informed him.

"Vanilla ice cream-and what do you mean 'dinner'?" Connor asked.

"You have your sister to thank. She thought it would be nice for us to meet him since you two have gotten so close! Maybe he could come by more often so you two could spend time here." Cynthia suggested. "Oh!-I have to hurry and do some shopping for tonight! Bye-bye, and see you two later!" She added before hanging up.

Evan and Connor looked at each other.

"That's what I meant." Jared said in a 'yikes' kind of way.

Shit.


	6. Dinner with the Murphy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He...He's kind. He listens to me talk about trees. He likes books. His favorite is actually the-"
> 
> "The Little Prince." Zoe finished his sentence, sitting herself down beside Evan on the bed. Evan looked at her and saw a look of sorrow and regret written on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! Thank you so much for being so patient for this chapter, and I'm honestly so sorry that it took me so long to write this!! On top of dealing with stuff to help me get set up for college, I was also unsure of whether or not this chapter would be as good as the others, so I ended up hitting a writer's block. However, I figured I just needed to write through it so I could get back on track.  
> I really hope you guys like it!! Again, sorry that this chapter is super late! ^^"

Evan and Connor stared directly in front of them, Evan toying with the edges of his cast and Connor white knuckling the steering wheel of the car.

   
"Do they know you're-" Evan began, trying to break the silence before Connor interrupted.

"No."

"Oh." Evan replied with a nervous sigh.

   
The quiet returned. They sat there, parked in front of the house, debating on whether to go in or not.

   
"Hi there!" Evan jumped, startled by the woman who knocked against the passenger seat window excitedly. "I'm Connor's mom!"

   
Evan looked out the window and gave a shy smile along with a small wave. He could hear Connor mumble, "End of the line." under his breath before pulling the keys out of the ignition, and that certainly didn't ease his worries. 

 He and Connor both stepped out of the car.

   
"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you." Cynthia apologized.

 "No-no worries." Evan replied, quickly turning his head to spot Connor making his way towards them.

 "We'll be in my room." was all Connor said before grabbing Evan's backpack from him and walking towards the front door. Evan watched Connor for a second before turning his attention to Cynthia.

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Murphy." He said all too quickly before rushing to follow Connor into the house.

 

 

When they entered Connor's room, Connor locked the door behind them before tossing Evan's backpack onto the bed.

Evan looked around the room after watching Connor throw himself on a beanbag in the corner. The room wasn't neat, and there were cannabis stickers on the window. Evan guessed that this was where Connor would smoke most of the time considering the smell in the room wasn't the best. 

  
"You just gonna stand there or are you gonna join me?" Connor asked with a dry chuckle, bringing Evan's attention back to him.

"Sorry!-I was just looking around and-not because I'm being nosy though!-I just haven't been in your room before and-" Evan stopped when he felt something bounce off of his forehead. "Ow!" He said while rubbing the spot that got hit. Connor had thrown what looks like a stress ball.

"Why did you do that?" Evan asked, confused.

"You looked like you were worrying. Just wanted to pull you out of it." Connor replied with a shrug.

  
Evan sat himself down across from Connor, reclining against the side of his bed.

  
"Is...Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just fucking great." Connor said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry..." Evan said, going quiet and taking Connor's response as a sign for him to be quiet. Maybe he was too nosy? What if that bothered Connor?

"Not your fault, okay? It's just...my relationship with my family is shit."

"Oh." Evan replied, biting his tongue so that he could keep himself from asking why. 

"Your mom seems nice?" Evan commented after a bit and Connor let out a sigh.

"Yeah, she'd probably be the only one who'd miss me if I was gone." Connor replied, his eyes closed under his arm that he currently had draped over his face. Evan was shocked by the comment, and his eyes went wide.

"What? I'm not the only one out of the two of us who has thought of taking the easy way out." Connor said after seeing Evan's face.

  
Evan swallowed hard and looked at the ground. This atmosphere between him and Connor was very different from earlier in the library. Is there a reason why? Had he done something wrong? Wow-not even a whole day into a relationship and he already did something wrong.

Evan took deep breaths, a few were deeper than he had intended as he tried catching his breath and calming himself down. Connor moved his arm off of his face so he could get a better look at Evan since he heard him breathing slightly heavily.

  
"Shit." He said, sitting up from the position he was in. "Evan, I'm sorry if I did anything to make you worry, okay? I just have a lot on my mind, what with Zoe making a plan for whatever reason." He apologized, moving himself closer to Evan and placing a hand on his shoulder. Evan looked up at Connor slowly, almost hesitantly. 

  
"Can-can I ask you something?" Evan managed to get out.

"Yeah, go for it." Connor replied, giving Evan a small sincere smile.

"I just-just want to know why you and Zoe don't-"

"Hansen, you know I don't want to talk about, so please try not to bring it up-"

"What is she trying to do though?-Why did she tell your parents about me?-"

"I don't know!" Connor half shouted, catching Evan off guard. He immediately regretted the action as Evan stood up and began walking to the door.

"I have to go to the bathroom, but I'll be right back." He said quietly before unlocking the door and leaving the room. Connor wished he could have kept his mouth shut or that Zoe hadn't brought this whole thing up so that he and Evan could just go to the orchard again. He's trying to control his temper, but it's too hard sometimes. He gets frustrated and doesn't know what to do, so it's like he dumps it out onto the first person he sees. Why was this happening?

 

 

Evan wandered down the hall, looking for anything that could help him figure out where the bathroom was. He just needed a place to breath and wash his face. With no bathroom in sight, his breathing was getting harder to control. What if Connor's parents saw him like this? What if they think he wasn't good enough for their son? What if-?

  
"Evan! Glad I could catch you alone." Zoe said, calling his attention and making him turn around. There she was, standing in the doorway of her room.

"Can you spare a minute? I promise I'll let you get back to Connor as soon as we're done talking."

"Uh-Oh-Um-okay?" Evan replied, walking over to her. He felt horrible for doing this, but if he couldn't get answers from Connor then he'd get them from Zoe.

"You can go ahead and sit on the bed, but hurry it up so I can close the door. My brother would freak if he found out you were alone with me in my room." She said as she locked her door. She paused for a moment before continuing. "He gets really pissy if I even so much as mention your name. Why is that?"

  
Evan quickly began to toy with the hem of his shirt to keep himself distracted enough so he could breath at least somewhat properly.

  
"I-I'm his first real f-friend, right? Maybe it's-it's just him be-being protective?" Evan suggested.

"Evan, he's not around. You can tell me what's going on. My brother never acts this way with anyone...Are you sure he's not forcing you or anythi-"

"Of course he's not!" Evan said, finally finding his voice even if it was a little shaky. "He...He's kind. He listens to me talk about trees. He likes books. His favorite is actually the-"

"The Little Prince." Zoe finished his sentence, sitting herself down beside Evan on the bed. Evan looked at her and saw a look of sorrow and regret written on her face.

"Y-yeah. He won't tell me what happened to his copy, but he always reads the copy from the library at school. He'll eat while reading it and he just looks so relaxed and-"

"I broke his copy." Zoe interrupted, looking down at the ground. She felt ashamed now that she was hearing Evan talk about her brother. She was right. He was showing Evan a side of himself that hadn't been around this family in at least five years.

  
Evan looked at Zoe in shock. Is this why Connor was so mad at her? Was it all because of a book?

  
"I...We were really close as kids, you know? He used to read that book to me every night. Our grandpa had given him the book....Connor was really close to our grandpa since dad was always busy working, so he was like a dad for Connor. Naturally, when he passed away..." Zoe went silent, still looking at the floor.

"...Connor started acting up?" Evan asked, disrupting the silence.

"Nah, Connor knew he was in a better place...it was our dad who started acting up."

"But how does that effect you and Connor's relationship?" Evan blurted out, curiosity getting the better of him.

"I didn't stop dad...He...I don't know what he was thinking, but after gramps died, dad started nitpicking little things about Connor's behavior. 'You're talking back' this, 'you're being lazy' that!...I guess it was a lot, but I only made things worst. Dad had come in during story time one night and yelled at Connor, telling him to throw the book away. That he was too big to be reading that malarkey. Well, I didn't get it really, but I always picked dad's side, so when Connor refused, I grabbed the book and tore it up right from his hands and then threw the ripped up pages in the waste bin by the bed. He was frozen for a bit, but then he...He pushed me really hard off the bed, but looking back, I get that I deserved that." Zoe said, letting out a breath she felt like she had been holding. Lately she had been feeling guilty about so many things, so she just wanted to find a way to get everything back to normal.

"That's not all...Is there?" Evan asked, half hesitantly. Zoe nodded her head slightly.

"You could say it was the beginning of the end, I guess. He and dad started fighting more, Connor refused any kind of help that mom suggested for his anger issues because dad would make comments about how he was just acting up, me picking dad's side didn't help any, and then he started doing drugs and God knows what else."

"Oh..." was all Evan could say. They both sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the ground in front of them.

"You should probably get back to Connor." Zoe spoke up as she got up from the bed and made her way to the door. Evan quickly followed, giving a quick mumble of agreement that was most likely too quiet for her to hear.

"Hey, Evan?" Zoe said with her hand on the doorknob.

"Y-yeah?"

"Thank you...for being Connor's friend and all."

"Yeah," Evan began, giving her a small smile. "no problem. He's actually-" Evan's words were cut short and interrupted when Zoe opened the door to reveal Connor leaning back against the wall across from them. He had his arms crossed and looked very unamused.

"What was it, Evan? 'He's actually' what?" Connor asked.

"Connor, Evan hasn't done anything wrong, okay? He was just trying to convince me that you're an actual human being." Zoe quickly jumped in.

"Right." Connor replied, standing up properly before walking over and interlocking his fingers with Evan's. He took in a deep breath and gave Evan's hand a slight squeeze after letting out a sigh.

"I get it, you wanted to know. I was acting up and it was wrong." Connor admitted. His poker face had disappeared and was replaced with a look that said he was seeking forgiveness.

"N-no, it was my fault for being no-nosy." Evan said, giving Connor a half smile before giving his hand a squeeze back.

"Okay, what's-uh-going on here?" Zoe asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at their hands. Connor quickly glared at Zoe.

"Don't think you're out of the fucking woods. Next time I catch you locking yourself with Evan in your room, I won't be sitting here waiting. As a matter of fact, you're gonna need a new fucking door when I'm done-"

"Hey! What's going on here and what's with the language?" Cynthia said, almost reaching the top of the stairs. Connor and Evan quickly let go of each other's hands, sparking Zoe's curiosity.

 "Nothing," Connor groaned before shoving his hands in his pockets. "we were just about to head back to my room."

"Actually, your dad just came home. He got off work early just so he could join us for dinner and meet your friend!" Cynthia said cheerfully.

"Well, is dinner even ready?" Connor asked.

"Uh-well, no, not yet. It should be done in an hour-"

"Then we'll head down in an hour." Connor responded, rolling his eyes. "Until then, we'll be in my room." He continued before looking at Evan and nodding his head towards his door.

"Oh, okay then! I'll-uh-come and get you when dinner's ready then."

Evan and Connor made their way to Connor's room once again, leaving Zoe and her mom alone.

"Zoe?" Cynthia said when she saw Connor close the door.

"Yeah, mom?"

"What do you think of that Evan boy?"

"He's a really sweet guy, and he seems to really care about Connor." Zoe replied without a second thought.

"That's good. Let's hope his behavior rubs off on Connor." Cynthia said with a small laugh.

 

 

"Spill." Connor said, sitting on his bed. Evan noticed that Connor had moved his backpack onto the floor near the beanbag. "Come on, out with it." He continued, patting the space beside him in the bed, inviting Evan to sit. Evan quickly to the spot and began talking, his words racing out of his mouth about what he and Zoe had talked about all while Connor listened and nodded his head slightly.

Evan took a deep breath once he finished and Connor started laughing a little, confusing him.

  
"Connor?" Evan said, calling his attention.

"Sorry, but I understood nothing of what you just said-"

"Zoe-uh-you and her were close-grandpa-The Little Prince-story time-your dad-broken book, and-uh-things got worse." Evan quickly listed the keywords of the conversation.

"So, she basically told you the gist of it, huh?" Connor said with a sigh, and Evan nodded in response. Connor placed his hand over Evan's.

"Do you say things like that a lot?" he asked. Evan figured Connor was referring to the way he listed things from his rambling earlier.

"Only when I talk too fast about something that's really long-too long to go back over without me rushing through my words again. Jared taught me to just repeat the keywords, so whoever I'm talking to can pick a topic and I don't go on rambling about a million things at once."

"Huh, that guy's not as stupid as he looks." Connor said, making Evan chuckle.

"Believe it or not, he's an honor student." Evan said, taking in the look of shock on Connor's face.

"How the fuck? The guy eats bath bombs for shit's sake!" Connor said in horror.

"Oh, his life choices are definitely stupid, but he's smart when a comes to just about anything else." Evan laughed and then gasped when he realized what he had just said. "Oh my god-I-I didn't mean to say that."

  
Connor raised an eyebrow and gave Evan a smirk.

  
"Gotta say Hansen, this side of you is definitely a turn on." Connor said, making Evan turn a bright red.

"C-Connor!" Evan exclaimed, scolding him.

"What? It's true. I could just climb on top of you right now and listen to all of your sarcastic comments while I suck on your neck. Or, you know what? Those noises you were making the other day in your room before your mom came in sounded like heaven to me." It wasn't like Connor was lying (he hasn't been able to stop thinking about it as a matter of fact), but he was just doing this because Evan's reaction was perfect.

"C-Connor-"

"And the way you moaned my name and begged for more? You're lucky that twat with glasses was there, because if not-"

"He's not here now." Evan quickly interrupted. Any noise in the room died instantly at Evan's comment while Connor was left just kind of staring at him. Connor cleared his throat before speaking, not trusting his voice.

"You...You do know what you're implying, right?" He asked Evan, giving him a half smile. Evan nodded, his face was entirely red and the color went down his neck. Connor wanted to see how far he could go with teasing Evan before he cracked, so he let out a sigh and a chuckle.

"I dunno, Hansen. I don't think you do."

"W-what? I do though!" Evan insisted.

"Then prove it." Connor challenged, giving Evan a sly smirk.

  
Evan took in a deep breath and was visibly shaking before quickly pressing his lips against Connor's. Evan knew he had overthought the situation, and he silently cursed for not being able to come up with something else, but he took it all back when suddenly, Connor began to laugh.

  
"Come on, Hansen. If you're gonna give me a kiss, then at least give me one that lasts for more than two seconds." Connor laughed. Evan let the breath he had been holding in huff out.

"I'd like to see you do better." Evan said with a half grin. 

  
Connor sat there, smile still on his face, but disbelief was ringing in his head.

  
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" He asked, feeling his cheeks getting warm.

"I said that I'd like to see you do better." Evan repeated, and suddenly Connor's ears got hot. Was he being serious? Either way, he wasn't about to pass on this opportunity.

  
Connor caressed the side of Evan's face and leaned in. He pressed his lips against Evan's and the two melted into the moment. The kiss wasn't extreme, but it was slow and sweet. Evan could hear the sound of his heart beating in his ears so loud that he could swear that Connor could hear it too. Let him hear it though. Let him know that he's the first person to make him feel this way. Evan hoped that Connor could hear. 

 When they finally broke the kiss and separated slightly, Evan began laughing a bit.

  
"You win. That-that was better." he said, and Connor couldn't help but give a full smile which Evan gladly returned. Connor's heart was racing, and he felt alive in his own house for the first time in ages. It felt like someone had pulled aside the blinds of a dark room and let the light in, even if it was just for this moment. Connor was thankful for this moment.

"Hey, do you want to see an even better kiss since you thought that one was so amazing?" Connor asked, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips.

"Y-yeah, I'd like that." Evan said, not knowing what to expect from this 'better kiss' that Connor was suggesting.

  
Suddenly, Connor swooped Evan into his arms as awkwardly as possible while making sure to keep one hand at Evan's side as he squished their lips together.

  
"Ish thish shexeh?" He mumbled against Evan's lips. Evan squealed in laughter.

"Nuh, not at all!" He said, laughing and trying to shove Connor away. Connor kept his grip on the squirming Evan and started poking his side, making Evan laugh even more.

"Connor!-HAHAHA-STahP!" Evan laughed and exclaimed while still having his lips squished against Connor's.

"Is everything okay, I thought I heard-" Zoe suddenly opened the door and froze when she saw the sight before her. Connor felt Evan tense, frozen with fear. He looked at his sister and let out a sigh before guiding Evan's head so Evan could bury his face in his neck.

"Close the damn door." Connor groaned. Zoe quickly closed the door and locked it before turning back to face the two boys, shock still written on her face.

"I meant with you on the other side of it." Connor said, rolling his eyes.

"What's going on here?" Zoe asked. Connor was about to snap at her when he felt Evan trembling in his arms, so he let out a sigh.

"Ev, did you bring your medication?" he asked him softly. There was a slight nod in response.

"And it's in your backpack, right?" There was another slight nod. Zoe watched as her brother who she had been envisioning as a monster rubbed the quiet boy's back gently. The boy who would slam doors and threaten her was now whispering and making as little noise as possible.

"Zoe, I need you to reach into the backpack that's on the beanbag and look for a bottle of pills. If there's no water bottle in there, just fill a cup up from downstairs." He said to her, his tone not as soft as it was with Evan, but definitely soft enough as to not disturb the boy further.

  
Zoe was still in shock, but she saw how concerned Connor was for Evan, so she quickly made her way to the other side of the room and dug through the backpack until she found the small orange bottle along with a mini sized water bottle.

  
"Here," she said, passing the two items to Connor and watched as he read the label and took out one of the pills. "now, do you think you could tell me what's going on."

"Wait." was all Connor said to her. He then put the small pill into Evan's hand and opened the bottle of water for him. Evan sat up and swallowed the pill with the first sip of water, however he kept drinking from the bottle until it was empty.

"Take a nap, okay? There's still time before dinner, and I'll wake you up when my mom says it's ready. I'm gonna go with Zoe to her room so we can talk, but I'll be right back here before you even wake up, okay?" Zoe looked at Connor with confusion, but saw he was too busy looking out for the little nods Evan was giving as responses.

  
Soon enough, Connor had made sure Evan was comfortable in the bed and then went with his sister to her room. He closed the door behind them quietly before making his way to her bed. They sat in silence, unsure of what to say to the other. Connor was the first to break the silence.

  
"If you're gonna ask question, please hurry it up a bit...I don't want to leave him alone..."

"What happened to him just now? All I did was walk in on-well-I don't even know what that was." Zoe asked.

"He...He's got severe anxiety and you walking in on us must have triggered something since I told him that no one knows that...That I'm..." Connor voice drifted off as he avoided facing Zoe. She went to place a hand on his shoulder, but quickly placed her hand on her lap instead. She didn't know what he needed right now, and she wasn't sure if she should ask since this was the first time in a long time that they've had an actual conversation.

"Connor, are you and Evan dating?" Zoe chose to ask instead.

"Yeah. We actually made it official today." Connor replied. A smile tugged at his lips as he couldn't help but think about how happy he was to have Evan. Zoe couldn't help but smile while watching her normally loud mouth brother turn bashful at the thought of his boyfriend.

"Hey...I'm happy for you. Evan's a great guy, and a good influence. Plus, you guys seem to get along pretty well." She giggled slightly, remember how they were so awkwardly tangled together in Connor's room.

"Yeah," Connor laughed slightly. "we really do."

  
Connor and Zoe looked at each other. Both were smiling, and the moment was peaceful. Well, at least it was until Zoe's eyes went wide in realization.

  
"Wait-! Then Evan was the one who gave you those hick-!" Connor quickly brought his hand over Zoe's mouth.

"Shhh! Shut the fuck up!" he whisper shouted. Zoe just started mumbling loudly behind his hand, but nothing she said was coherent.

"Jesus! Do you want me to get in trouble with our oh-so loving mother and father?! That is the last thing Evan needs right now! Not to mention the folks wouldn't be too happy to find out their son was gay." Connor said quickly in a whisper. Zoe went silent, narrowing her eyes at her brother before licking his palm and causing him to pull his hand away to wipe it on his jeans.

"Gross-! And I'm supposedly the savage one." He said with a groan while rolling his eyes.

"I thought so too, but based off of your neck, I'm guessing it's actually Evan." She said while wiping her mouth.

"I swear, Zoe, if you even _dare_ to tell mom and dad-"

"I won't."

"Wait, what?" Connor asked, surprised by her response. Normally she'd do anything to get him in trouble with their parents, and now was the perfect opportunity. Hell, this whole thing could get him kicked out of the house! 

"I said I'm not gonna tell them...I-I have no right to-but I'll talk to you about some other time because I honestly want us to talk again..." Zoe confessed, but Connor quickly stood up.

"Connor, did you even hear what I-"

"Just-...Just give me some time to think, okay? Things aren't patched up with stickers-and you can't just say to throw everything bad under a bridge. You said and did bad things, and I said and did bad things, so while it's a nice thought, we have to remember we were screaming at each other to die in a ditch somewhere just this morning and...I'm not proud of that...I'm not proud of that, and I need time. I can't just magically fix myself-"

"And I'm not saying you have to. Look, you're right, we don't get along, but you know what? While we can't just cover the sun with one hand, we can at least try to do better. I'll give you time to think about it, but please know that I really do miss having you around-"

"I have to go." Connor said, walking away from Zoe. Their first real conversation in years, and the outcome is still the same, but a little less the same. They listened to each other, and that was enough to give Zoe hope.

"Wait, Connor!" Zoe called for his attention.

"What?" He said, stopping with his hand on the door.

"If...If you ever do want to talk, or just want someone to listen, I'm here, okay?"

Connor went silent, but let out a sigh after a moment.

"Okay." He said, and with that he left the room.

 

 

Evan opened his eyes to find Connor right beside him, just like he had promised.

"Feeling better?" Connor asked, running his fingers through Evan's hair. Evan nodded.

"Did you talk with Zoe?" He asked in return.

"Yeah..Surprisingly enough, we didn't try to kill each other, which is a good thing I guess."

Evan grinned from ear to ear.

"That's really great!" He said cheerfully.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Connor! Evan! Dinner's ready!" Cynthia called from the other side.

"Well, looks like we have one more battle to face." Connor huffed.

"What do you mean?" Evan asked, concerned.

"Dinner with my family can get a little unpredictable, but I guess since Zoe seems a little more mellow today...Let's just hope for the best, but prepare for the worst? You're here, so I doubt anybody's gonna start something, so that's in our favor. Anyway, let's start heading down." Connor said, sitting up and heading towards the door. Evan quickly followed.

 

 

The two boys walked into the dining room to find Larry Murphy, Connor's dad, sitting at the head of the table already. Zoe was also just sitting down in her seat.

"Hope you like lamb, Evan! It's a family recipe." Cynthia said cheerfully as she set the main dish at the center of the table.

"Oh, I-I do. My-my mom and I sometimes have it for-for the holidays." Evan said in reply, giving a small smile while Connor guided him to a chair right beside him.

Connor pulled out the seat for Evan and had him sit down. Cynthia admired the action coming from her son, but Larry watched and became a bit skeptical. When was the last time his son had shown him some manners? Now there's this boy in the picture and he's acting like a gentleman? Something wasn't right.

"So, Evan, right? How did you and Connor meet?" Larry asked while serving himself. Another thing Larry found odd was how Connor had quickly gone to serve Evan.

"Oh-um-well, we kind of always knew each-each other? This year was when we really started talking though."

"Where do you two normally go out?" Cynthia asked, happily interested in finding out more about the boy who has become her son's closest friend. Connor kept quiet, wanting to make sure everything went smoothly, but also watched Evan to see if he needed help with answering any of the questions his parents were asking.

"Oh!-Well, sometimes we'll hang out at my place-he actually slept over the other night-and we'll meet up in the library at school during lunch. He even took me to an orchard once!" Evan said happily. Cynthia and Connor's eyes widened. Shit.

"Oh. Really now?" Cynthia asked, looking over to Connor. Cynthia had also spoken to Larry about what Connor had mentioned during breakfast the other day, so he sat looking at Evan with a raised eyebrow. Zoe could feel a bad situation brewing, so she tried to diffuse it.

"So, what do you two normally do when you get together?" She asked.

"Oh-well, we-we talk about things.-Lots of things actually! Like-like our favorite bands, plans for after high school-girls we like." Evan added the last part out of panic. "Things like that."

Connor rubbed his face with one hand and let out a huff of air while Zoe did her all to keep from laughing.

"Oh! That sounds wonderful!" Cynthia said cheerfully.

"Y-yeah." Evan stuttered before stuffing his mouth with food to keep from talking.

The evening continued on with small talk about Evan's grades and his home life. Larry just couldn't kick an odd feeling he had about Evan and Connor's 'friendship', but he kept it to himself.

"Mom, I think it's time I take Evan home. It's late." Connor said as he finished his last spoonful of vanilla ice cream.

"Oh! You're right!" She exclaimed after looking at her watch. She turned her attention to Evan.

"Thank you so much for coming over for dinner, Evan. It was really nice meeting you, and remember that you're free to drop by to spend time with Connor whenever you want." She said with a heart warming smile.

"Thank you-everything was wonderful and I'm really glad I could come over." Evan replied with a shy smile. He and Connor stood up and made their way to the front door which was down the hallway in the front room.

"Hey, looks like we survived." Connor teased with a laugh before opening the front door. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor and pulled him into a hug.

"Yeah, we did." He said happily.

"Guys-mayday!-Get away from each other!" Zoe started whisper shouting as she rushed to the front room. They quickly did as she said, but Evan's shirt twisted a bit around the collar in the process.

"Evan!-Before you go, I'd like to-..." Larry's words fell short as he entered the room and his eyes were immediately drawn to the dark hickey that had previously been hidden by Evan's shirt.

"Son, where did you get that?" Larry asked, narrowing his eyes and pointing at the spot. He shifted his eyes from Evan to Connor and Evan froze in fear, not knowing what to do. Zoe quickly stepped forward to speak.

"Dad-Evan and I are dating." She said, the words tumbled out of her mouth. Connor and Evan's jaws dropped at the sudden confession even though they knew it was a lie. Connor's shock soon turned to anger though.

"Dad, Zoe and I are gonna take Evan home now. You can talk with her later about all this." Connor said as he began shoving the other two teens out the front door and towards his car. He slammed the front door behind them and glared at Zoe.

"Connor, I-" Zoe started to say, but her sentence was cut short.

"Not. Another. Word." Connor hissed, walking over to Evan and guiding him to the passenger seat.

"Connor, at least try to talk to her when I'm not here if that helps?" Evan asked in a whisper as he sat down in the car. Connor took in a deep breath.

"We'll see...I probably don't even have a choice." He said, closing the door for Evan and walking around to the driver's seat. He spotted Zoe still standing beside the car.

"In. We'll talk later." He said and she sat herself in the back seat. Connor took a moment before getting into the car to take another deep breath. This was just fucking great...


	7. "I wouldn't go up there if I were you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry..." He began saying in the softest way he possibly could. Not as soft as how he's spoken to Evan, but definitely a close second, and it was what caught Zoe's attention as she looked up from her hands and faced her brother. Her expression went from the same frightened look to one of shock.
> 
> "There might not be a time machine, but...there...there is something that you can do..." Connor began to say, looking away from Zoe, not wanting to see any more reactions that he might cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! So sorry for the long wait for this update :(  
> A lot has been going on lately (someone close passed away, I've had surgery and a lot of doctor appointments for my stomach, getting ready to start college in January, etc.), but I'm back for now!  
> Since there have been times where I didn't have the chance to update, I also started an ask blog on Tumblr as Jared Kleinman (@askj-mankleinman), so feel free to follow ask questions!  
> There's also another work that I have going for any scenes that I cut out from this story that I deem to steamy or scenes that I like but they didn't really fit in with the chapter, and I will leave the link for it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11565663/chapters/25982922  
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! Remember to leave kudos and comment your thoughts!  
> Thank you all so much for the wonderful and funny comments that you have left in previous chapters! I have so much fun reading them! And also, thank you all so much for reading!!! :D

The car slowed to a halt as the three teens pulled up in front of Evan's house.

"Well, have-have a good night!" Evan said quickly as he tried to leave the car so Connor and Zoe could talk. He swung the door open and went to rush out towards his front door, but he had forgotten one minor detail...His seatbelt had still been on. His attempt for speeding out ended with the sound of a shocked gasp as he was held back to his seat.

"Ow..." He groaned and Connor quickly became concerned.

"Hey, you alright?" He asked, quickly unbuckling the seatbelt and placing his hand over Evan's chest.

"Y-yeah, you wouldn't believe how often that that happens." Evan chuckled while passing a hand over his neck where seatbelt had been.

Connor and Evan looked at each other, and for a moment they had forgotten the night's events. Out of the corner of Connor's eye he saw Zoe which brought him back to reality, but not completely getting rid of the warm feeling in his chest or the butterflies in his stomach whenever he looked at Evan. Connor gave him a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek and forehead. 

"I'll talk to Zoe and we'll figure things out. If we manage to come up with something, I'll make sure to run it by you before doing anything crazy, okay?" Connor whispered to Evan sweetly. Evan returned the smile and gave a single nod before kissing Connor on the cheek. He quickly said his good byes and good nights to the Murphy siblings before heading out of the car and for his front door.

Connor watched as Evan went inside and as soon as he saw the door close he slouched into his seat and ran some fingers through his hair.

"I'm gonna move to the front seat." Zoe said, unbuckling her seat belt.

"Um, no, you're gonna sit in the back seat and think about what you've done-and I swear to god, if you bring up that time you called shotgun for infinity, you're gonna be walking your sorry ass home." Connor said with an annoyed and tired sigh as he rubbed his face in his hands before running them through his hair again.

"God, you still remember that?" she giggled while crossing her arms.

"Listen here you little brat, you got your license the other day so I've heard it enough times to know when you would pull that card out."

"Fine," she said, raising her hands up in defeat. "You've got me. Now can we talk about what happened?"

Connor groaned remembering the night's events. 

"'He's _my_ boyfriend, Dad, and I gave him a _huge_ hickey'-" Connor began to say in a mocking tone. "What the fuck was that about? For all Larry knows, Evan could be in a relationship with someone else _outside_ of our family." He huffed.

"Okay, first off, I don't sound like that, and second off, we all were thinking the same thing when he said you had taken him to the orchard. You know, the same place where you got all those hickeys? Which also occurred around the same time that you and Evan went? Oh!-And look at that! Evan just so happens to have the biggest hickey in the world, and-"

"Okay, okay! Point taken." Connor interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So, what do we do?"

"I say we keep the facade going. Mom and dad will be none the wiser, right?" Zoe said with a shrug.

"We don't even know if the guy bought it! Especially with how shocked Evan was, I'm not too sure how that'll play out." Connor sneered.

"Evan's got severe anxiety, right? He even takes medication for it, so maybe if we explain that to dad he'll-"

"Say he's overreacting or acting out and that he should grow a back bone..." Connor interrupted, his voice growing smaller towards the end of his sentence as if he were lost in thought. A silence washed over the car, and Zoe didn't know how to break it. She knew what her brother had gone through with their dad and the guilt she was feeling made her skin crawl.

"Connor...I'm sorry. If there was anyway for me to go back in time and stand up for you all those times, I would-"

"WELL YOU CAN'T!" Connor shouted as he smacked the steering wheel. All went quiet between the two siblings again except for the occasional sound of Connor's deep breaths that had been brought on by his sudden fit of anger. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood, and he tried to focus on the pain in his mouth as if it were some sort of release for his anger so he wouldn't yell again. He looked out the passenger seat window and saw the room upstairs had it's light on. Based off of what he could remember, that was Evan's room.

Connor hadn't even realized he'd been holding his breath until the light in the room shut off, leaving the house in total darkness except for the glow from the TV shining through the blinds of the living room window. Connor took a deep breath and let out a sigh before turning to face Zoe. She looked scared, her eyes glued to her hands while she stared at them hard. He knew in an instant that it was his fault she was like this, and the guilt made his wrists itch.

"I'm sorry..." He began saying in the softest way he possibly could. Not as soft as how he's spoken to Evan, but definitely a close second, and it was what caught Zoe's attention as she looked up from her hands and faced her brother. Her expression went from the same frightened look to one of shock.

"There might not be a time machine, but...there...there is something that you can do..." Connor began to say, looking away from Zoe, not wanting to see any more reactions that he might cause.

"What is it?" She asked meekly, feeling both curious and hopeful. He stayed silent and continued looking away and hiding his face behind his hair. Zoe knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what until she heard a small sniffle and a quiet 'damnit' from her brother. She didn't know what to do for him. She hasn't seen her brother like this in years.

She brought her hand up and slowly placed it on his shoulder very gently and carefully. She felt him tremble for a second before tensing up at the sudden gesture. He placed his hand over hers for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up at her.

"Don't let him pull the same shit with Evan." Connor spoke firmly before lifting his sister's hand off of his shoulder, letting it go, and turning around to place both hands on the wheel. Zoe wanted to say something, but Connor started the engine and started driving down the road and back towards their house. She figured he wanted silence, and knew that it would be better for the both of them if neither said another word for now after what just happened. Another thing she knew though, was that time was finally giving them the chance to mend their relationship as siblings, but it wasn't going to happen over night in the matter of one or two conversations...They had a lot they needed to work on, so Zoe left Connor with his thoughts as she drifted off into her own.

 

 

When the siblings arrived home, they went their separate ways when they reached the top of the staircase. Zoe walked towards her room, wavering by her doorway long enough to watch her brother close his door behind him before doing the same. She locked the door behind her out of habit from when Connor would have his fits of rage. She thought about how much worse they would get whenever he got high. The thought alone sent a shiver down her spine.

Lying down on her bed, she stared at the stars she had painted on her ceiling while she got lost in her thoughts. Maybe one day she wouldn't need to lock her door? Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about Connor's anger anymore?

 

Zoe's phone chimed, notifying her that someone had sent her a message. She excitedly reached for it, wondering what Alana was doing up at this hour when she usually prided herself on going to bed early. After checking the screen, she furrowed her brows together, wondering what her brother might've messaged her. She quickly unlocked her phone and clicked the text.

 

 **cmurphy:** i texted ev n he says the fake relationship thing is ok 4 now

 **Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** okay great! 

 **  
cmurphy:** not so fast

 **cmurphy:** ive got some rules

  
**Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:**...  
  
**Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** I feel like I should be concerned but what are they?

  
**cmurphy:** 1st off if u try tht shit of locking evan in ur room w/ u  
  
**cmurphy:** i will not hesitate to break the door down

 **  
Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** relax! that won't happen again alright?

  
**cmurphy:** ik cuz im not leaving u 2 alone like tht again

 **cmurphy:** im not gonna lose him 2 u

 

Zoe rolled her eyes, kinda wishing she could tell him exactly why he has nothing to worry about. She thought it was best not to bring it up though, so she resumed the conversation.

 

 **Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** alright so no being alone with him? got it! now what else?

  
**cmurphy:**...  
  
**cmurphy:** no kissing

  
**Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** understood! anything else?

  
**cmurphy:** shit

 **cmurphy:** we have 2 go 2 his place tmrrw

  
**Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** wait how come?

  
**cmurphy:** he left his bag n his meds

 **cmurphy:** not 2 worried bout the bag since its the weekend but he needs his meds

  
**Zoe(StarGirl)Murphy:** right so we explain the whole story (not the real one) to mom and dad tomorrow and then head to Evan's place?

  
**cmurphy:** bingo

 **cmurphy:** night

 

Zoe read the message and was kind of surprised to see her brother send her a good night text (or as close to a good night text as he's come to sending her thus far). She quickly sent a good night of her own and turned off her light, too lazy to change into her pajamas and instead chose to tuck herself into bed as is and fell asleep wondering what tomorrow would bring for her and her brother's plan.

 

 

 

"So, you're dating that nice boy that Connor brought over for dinner last night and you had met him _how_ again?" Cynthia asked her daughter while looking over to her husband who could care less about the conversation as he sipped on his coffee so he could head off to work.

"He showed up to one of my jazz band concerts and we talked a bit afterwards and hit it off really well. I was honestly surprised to find out he was friends with Connor though, so that's why I was behaving the way I did." Zoe giggled slightly and Connor couldn't roll his eyes hard enough as he pushed his cereal around with his spoon, letting the pieces get soggy.

"Well, I'm for whatever makes you happy, Pumpkin, and he's a very nice young man." Cynthia said, giving her daughter a loving smile. Connor stood up abruptly and grabbed his keys along with Evan's backpack.

"We gotta go, Fuck Face. Ev needs his bag." Connor said, giving Zoe a look.

"Connor, please watch your mouth? That's all I ask of you and-"

"You ask for more than that, mom...We'll see.-Now come on." Connor said, rushing his sister.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Zoe groaned as she grabbed her purse before following Connor out the door.

 

 

 

With the way Connor was driving, the siblings arrived at Evan's house in no time. The entire drive made Zoe grow closer to God considering she felt like the trip might be her final moments on earth, so needless to say, she no longer wanted to ride shotgun with her brother driving. She made a point to drop to her knees dramatically when she stepped out of the car, as if the ground were her new best friend. Connor simply walked around her with a mumbled 'you didn't die' and made his way to the door.

"Well, hello Murphy's~" Jared said, swinging the door open as soon as they had reached it. Zoe turned to Connor.

"How did he know we were-?" Zoe began to say, but was cut off by Connor.

"You were creeping at the window, weren't you?" Connor asked, already giving Jared a look of dissapointment.

"Pfft!-Me? What-uh-" Jared took a moment to clear his throat before looking down and moving out of the way. "Ev's upstairs." He said, using his thumb to point behind him to where the staircase was. Connor wasted no time and walked around Jared, leaving his sister with him.

"Where is he going?" Zoe asked Jared.

"Hm? Oh, probably Evan's room." he replied with a shrug before walking towards the living room area. Zoe stepped in and closed the door behind her before following him. Jared raised an eyebrow when he noticed her standing awkwardly in the living room.

"Uh, can I help you?" 

"What do you normally do when they ditch you downstairs?"

"Put my headphones on and pray to God that I don't hear anything that's going on upstairs." Jared replied with a snort.

"I think I'm gonna go say hi to Evan and let him know I'm here." Zoe said, rushing towards the stairs.

"Uh-I wouldn't go up there if I were you. I've made the mistake too many times, and sometimes there's no avoiding it in my case." Jared said, scrunching his face. Zoe remembered the scene she had walked in on the other day and laughed slightly.

"I think I'll be fine. I've walked in on those two and it wasn't too bad. Besides, I'm just going up to say hi and I'll come right back down." she replied, grinning triumphantly at the fact that there was something she could handle better than Jared. With that, she skipped away and rushed up the stairs.

Jared looked at the stairs in disgust. Did she seriously just say that walking in on those two wasn't too bad? Jesus Christ, she really is a Murphy.

 

 

Evan ran his fingers through Connor's hair and smiled down at him. Connor turned his head slightly to kiss Evan's hand before going back to admiring the boy on top of him. Connor noticed how distracted Evan was with his hair and he came up with an idea.

Connor subtly held Evan's hips a little tighter and moved him a bit as he himself moved his hips up against him, earning a surprised gasp from Evan. Evan squinted his eyes at Connor before tugging his hair slightly as a test, earning him a groan.

"I could get used to that." Connor said, his voice breathy.

"Ditto." Evan replied, moving his hips against Connor, grinding down against him. Connor sat up and tugged off his shirt and tossing it to a corner before working on Evan's shirt. As soon as it was off, Connor worked kisses down Evan's neck, picking the most sensitive spot and staying there. Evan moaned in response, tugging Connor's hair a little harder without pulling him away from his neck.

"You like that, huh?" Connor whispered, pulling away from Evan's neck for a second before getting back to it a little more rougher.

"Connor~!" Evan exclaimed in pleasure before the door opened.

"Hi Evan! I just-OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK?!" Zoe screamed before slamming the door shut and running down the stairs. The boys could faintly hear the sound of her chanting, "MY EYES! MY EYES!" as she went down. Evan was frozen yet again, and Connor wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he could make a joke out of it to help him relax?

"I think we just traumatized her more than we traumatized Jared that day." He chuckled, feeling Evan relax against him before laughing a small 'yeah' in response.

"Why is it that they always come at the best times?" Connor asked with an irritated sigh.

"Who-Who says we have to stop?" Evan replied, giving Connor a shy smirk. Connor's heart raced as if it was gonna beat through his chest.

"I like the way you think." He said before pressing Evan against the mattress.

 

 

When Zoe reached the living room, she began pacing back and forward, running her fingers through her hair. What the hell had she just walked into? It was definitely _not_ what she saw last time. Nope. Not one bit similar.

"Here." Jared said, interrupting her thoughts, and handed her a bowl of water before resting his hand on her shoulder.

"What's this for?" She asked, slightly irritated.

"It's holy water. I heard you screaming 'My eyes! My eyes!' all the way down the stairs after I had warned you not to go up there. I learned how to make it after my first encounter." Jared said before laughing hysterically.

"How the fuck do you make holy water?" Zoe asked, utterly confused and disorientated after what she had just seen.

"Easy. You boil the hell out of it!" Jared said before giving her finger guns. Zoe groaned before dumping the bowl over his head.

"You need it more than I do." She said before giving a smile.

"Well, you're not wrong there." Jared said with a nod, taking off his glasses and attempting to clean them with his now wet shirt while pressing his lips tightly together. Suddenly, a thumping sound could be heard from upstairs. Both Jared and Zoe's eyes widened as they exchanged a look and made their way over to the front door.

"After you." Jared said, opening it and gesturing for Zoe to go first.

"Gladly!" She said, stepping outside with Jared following behind her. He closed the door and they walked over to Connor's car, silence hanging between them.

"You don't think-?" Zoe began to ask.

"Oh-I know." Jared said in horror, pointing to the window of Evan's bedroom, causing Zoe to scream.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WHY ARE THE BLINDS OPEN?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WHO'S GOING TO CLOSE THEM?!" Zoe exclaimed, giving Jared the look of death. Silence fell between them as Jared returned her look with one of "Why are you looking at me like I have to do it?!"

"Nuh-uh, he's _your_ brother!" he exclaimed.

"Well, Evan's _your_  cousin!"

"He's not my cousin! We're not even remotely related!"

"What?!-Well-Whatever! He's _your_ best friend!"

" _Family_ friend!"

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit now! He's your best friend whether you care to admit it or not-now go up there and close. The. Blinds."

"Fine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in defeat and walking backwards towards the door. "Look at me, always at the mercy of the Murphy's! Let me tell you something, I'd hate to meet your parents-"

"Just go!" Zoe yelled, pointing at the door, making Jared rush inside.

 

 

Jared made his way up the stairs and took a deep breath when he reached the door to Evan's bedroom. Ungodly sounds were coming from the room, making Jared want to turn around instead of soiling his eyes. However, there was a Murphy waiting right outside of the house, and if he didn't follow through with this mission, he was as good as dead.

"Austin Powers give me strength." He said to himself before swinging the door open and running towards the window.

"What the fuck, Kleinman?!" Connor yelled, covering both him and Evan.

"Next time, close the damn blinds!" Jared yelled, shutting the blinds and turning around. "OH GOD-FUCK-I'M OUT!"

 

Jared raced out the door, leaving Evan and Connor alone in the room once again.

"Why does he always feel the need to interrupt?" Connor groaned in frustration. Evan began to laugh, surprising Connor since he usually freezes up.

"He has terrible timing as usual." Evan began running his fingers through Connor's hair. "He's not here anymore though. It's just you and-and me. Just us and only us."

 

Connor couldn't help but smile at Evan. Here was this guy who is quick to hide in his shell, but he's just brave enough to say things like that and make him melt as cheesy as it sounds. A thought crossed Connor's mind. One that made him happy, but scared. He decided it was best to keep it to himself...to stay safe and not lose what he has. He couldn't afford to lose this.

 

"So," Connor began. "where were we?"

 

 

"I hope you're happy, Murphy!" Jared said as he stormed out of the house.

"What did you see? Did they use a cond-"

"I don't want to talk about it, Murphy!" Jared interrupted, making his way over to the car before squatting and facing it. Zoe's eyes widened as she hoped to God that what she just noticed was just her eyes playing tricks on her. Aside from that, she couldn't believe it. Before her was a broken man who was definitely gonna have some PTSD after what he just saw.

 

"You know, if you really didn't want to, you didn't have to go in there to close the blinds." She said gently, hoping to comfort him in some way.

"Now you tell me?!" Jared turned around and shouted.

"Hey! I was trying to be nice here!"

"Where was this five minutes ago when you gave me the death sentence with just your eyes?!"

"You did it because Evan is your friend!"

"You know what?" Jared began as he stood up. "Yeah-you're right. I did it because that bozo who falls out of trees and has a collection of X-Men comic books is my best friend?"

"He has what-?"

"And sure, I need to burn my eyes now, but hey! He's happy, and he's being way more daring than before."

"I just wanted you to admit he was your friend, not go into a whole inspirational speech about-"

"And furthermore!-Nah, I'm just messing. Yeah, he's my friend. Plus it's about time that this dork started experiencing these things. Connie's not that bad of a guy, too, especially when it comes to Ev." Jared chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, I've never seen my brother act that way before. I really think Evan is the best thing that's happened to him."

 

Both Zoe and Jared smiled and nodded at each other in agreement. 

 

"So, wanna pretend to be strict parents and give them 'the talk' when they're done as payback?" Jared suggested with a mischievous grin.

"I like the way you think-well, only sometimes. Not all the time. Very rarely in fact-"

"I get it! Leave me with some of my pride unharmed, will'ya?" Jared replied, making Zoe giggle. Never in a million years did Zoe think she was gonna end up having a friendship with Jared Kleinman, let alone starting it like this.

"Wanna play Wii Sports in the living room with the volume full blast so we don't have to hear them?" Jared suggested.

"Sure, but you have to go in there and set it up volume and all before I go back inside. I do _not_ want to listen to my brother doing the do."

"Hey, imagine if we were to play bowling and one of us were to get the golden turkey and it announces it with the speakers blasting just as Evan and Connor c-"

"OKAY, that's enough." Zoe quickly interrupted. "Just, please started setting everything up before I change my mind."

"On it!" Jared said rushing into the house. They then played until Zoe realized that Jared was getting a golden turkey every match and had them switch to boxing while they waited for the boys to come downstairs.


	8. Hard Hat Needed To Enter Construction Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you prep?" Jared turned and asked Connor with a sigh.
> 
> "Huh? What do you-?"
> 
> "Did you stick your fingers in his Never Ending Story before unleashing your dragon?" Jared asked with another disappointed sigh, making Zoe snort as she held back a laugh.
> 
> "What are you-?"
> 
> "Did you wet the slip and slide before slipping and sliding?"
> 
> 'What the fuck are you saying-?"
> 
> "Did you put a hard hat on before entering the construction zone?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh, I'm so super sorry for not updating in so long you guys!! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it and you guys enjoy it! Things have been busy for me lately, so I totally forgot to work on an update :(  
> Here it is now though, so hopefully I won't take an accidental hiatus for another long while ; u ;  
> P.S.- I know I prob have the wrong info here for how to treat a sore bum, so I apologize ahead of time if it makes anyone cringe xD  
> P.P.S.- It's 4 a.m., please God, tell me that last line made sense ouo

Jared was beat-literally and figuratively-after going against Zoe in every single game that Wii sports had to offer.

"Come on! We got to play everything else, just please, Murphy, give me this one and let us play bowling one more time?!" He begged, hoping to get some mercy from the younger of the Murphy siblings.

"Fine, but just because I have a feeling I think I can beat you this time." Zoe stated with a triumphant sigh as Jared screamed internally. Suddenly the two heard the sound of someone clearing their throat.

 

They turned to find Connor standing awkwardly at the foot of the stairs, wrapped in a thin sheet. Zoe and Jared exchanged glances and nodded their heads in silent agreement to go through with their previous plan of nagging the two boys when they were done.

"Young man, you have some explaining to do." Jared started with a smirk on his face, figuring that he had the upper hand.

"Yeah, can we-uh-talk about that later? Evan and I kinda need your help?"

After one more exchange of glances between the two, they rushed upstairs to find Evan groaning in the bed.

"WHOA-I'm out! Peace-!" Zoe was about to rush back out the bedroom door when Jared caught her by the back of her shirt.

"Nope! You're staying here, Little Miss." He said, keeping his grip firm before turning to Connor and continuing. "Okay, what happened?"

"I-I don't know! We were, you know, and he started crying but said to keep going and-"

"Spare me the details and just tell me what's up right now, for the love of God." Jared rushed out his sentence, grimacing at the thought of hearing about those two's sexcapade.

"He can't stand!" Connor exclaimed, his face turning bright red. The room fell silent as Zoe and Jared looked between him and Evan.

"Uh, Ev, he's joking, right?" Jared asked carefully. Evan shook his head with another groan before covering his head with the blanket. Jared then quickly examined the area before he realized that he was dealing with the most unprepared (used to be) virgins in the world.

"Did you prep?" Jared turned and asked Connor with a sigh.

"Huh? What do you-?"

"Did you stick your fingers in his Never Ending Story before unleashing your dragon?" Jared asked with another disappointed sigh, making Zoe snort as she held back a laugh.

"What are you-?"

"Did you wet the slip and slide before slipping and sliding?"

'What the fuck are you saying-?"

"Did you put a hard hat on before entering the construction zone?"

"Listen, Kleinman, now is not the time for your shitty jokes-"

"DID YOU FINGER HIS ASS BEFORE STICKING YOUR DICK IN?! DID YOU USE LUBE?! DID YOU WEAR A CONDOM?!" Jared exclaimed in frustration.

"JARED!" Evan screeched from beneath the blanket.

"What?! He wasn't getting what I was dropping, so I dropped it the only other way I could, okay?!" Jared shouted, looking over his shoulder toward Evan.

"So?! Did you?!" Jared persisted, turning back to Connor.

"N-no, what the fuck? Why are you yelling at me?!" Connor replied, starting to get pissed.

"Have you never watched porn before?! You're supposed to go easy the first time, you dumb ass!"

"How do you even know so much about this?!"

"Hey-this about you and Acorn over there, alright?!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" the teens suddenly heard another voice join in, only to look and find none other than Heidi standing at the door way with a look of shock and confusion on her face.

"Oh-Ms. Hansen, it's so nice to see you home-" Jared tried sweeping in to do some damage control.

"Can it, Jared. The three of you, I need a moment alone with my son, please." Heidi said before turning to face Connor. "And Connor, honey, please put your clothes back on."

The three teens hurried and did as she said, soon leaving Evan and her on their own in the room. Evan tried his best to bury himself further beneath the blankets, wishing wholeheartedly that he could have a 'redo' button so his mother wouldn't have seen him like this.

"Munchkin, I need you to uncover your head at least so we can talk." Heidi said with a sigh.

"No-no! You-you're mad at-at me..."

"I-....Yes, but only a little. I just can't believe you lied to me, ya know? I thought we had an open relationship with these things."

"Lie-lied? When did I lie?" Evan said, sitting up carefully, and now facing his mother.

"I asked you the other day if you and-and Connor were in a relationship, and you said that you weren't. Were you afraid I was gonna be like all those other parents out there and throw a fit over it or-?"

"No-mom! That's not what-what happened!-I-Connor-We-We weren't in a relationship yet at the time!-I promise!" Evan exclaimed, worry on his face that showed he was scared of his mother losing trust in him. Heidi looked at her son before giving a long sigh.

"I believe you, Sweetie, so for now, why don't you tell me what all that hullabaloo that I walked in on was about?" She said with a kind smile.

Evan's face turned a bright red as he looked down at his hands.

"I-I...I can't-uh-I can't stand?-It's probably no big deal though-so no need to worry about-"

"Wait-what do you mean 'you can't stand'? Did you get hurt or-...?" Her voice trailed off as Evan gave her a begging look that asked her not to make him use his words.

"Oh!...OH-Ohhhhh. Gotcha!-Um-Why don't we get some-uh-ice from the freezer, or maybe a heat pack, and uh-?"

"Mom, aren't you a nurse?" Evan gave an exasperated sigh.

"Yes, but right now I'm in 'Mommy mode' and the nurse has left the building." She replied, rubbing her lap as she anxiously thought of what she could do to help her baby.

"Mom!" Evan groaned, covering his face with the blanket once again.

"It's okay, Hun, we'll figure out what to do and-uh-get you all better! Um-Connor! Honey! Come in here if your dressed, please!"

"M-mom, wha-what are you do-doing?" Evan asked in confusion before Connor walked in, his eyes glued on the ground.

"Connor-uh-I know this is odd to ask, but-"

"No, I don't have AIDS or Herpes." Connor immediately replied. Evan definitely took after Heidi in the looks department, because at this moment they shared the same exact look of shock and confusion. The silence was killing Connor. It's not every day that your boyfriend's mom walks in on something so awkward....

"If it's really an issue than I can get tested but-"

"Connor, dear, I know you don't have STD's, afterall we wouldn't be in this situation if you two knew what you were doing-"

"MOM!" Evan shouted.

"Right, right, I didn't mean it like that, sorry-I'm so sorry about that-just please apply a bag of ice to Evan's butt for me please?" Heidi said in a rush of words.

"Oh-okay!" Connor exclaimed and rushed downstairs to retrieve what he was told to use. Evan wanted nothing more than for this moment to be over...

 

After all the hustle and bustle was over, Jared offered to drive Zoey home and Heidi went to her classes for the evening, leaving Connor and Evan alone in the house.

"I can't feel my butt cheeks." Evan mumbled into his pillow.

"Should I call an ambulance?" Connor asked, eyes wide and worry lacing his voice.

"No-no! It's-it's from having ice on it for-for so long! Could we take a break?"

"Oh, yeah, sure!" Connor replied, quickly removing the bag of ice from Evan's rear.

The two boys stared at each other and started laughing a bit.

"Why are you laughing?" Evan asked, still chuckling.

"I'm laughing because you're laughing. Why are you laughing?" Connor replied.

"I just didn't think my mom would find out we were in a relationship this way, you know?" Evan chuckled, but Connor's eyes widened.

"Wait, she didn't know?"

"No, I-I forgot to-uh-mention it to her?" Evan replied sheepishly.

"Well,well, it looks like we were secret gay lovers until today, huh?"

"Not-uh-not really, but that's because Jared and Zoey know." Evan chuckled in response.

"You know, I totally forgot about them. I wonder what they were up to while we were, you know, 'busy'."

"According to a text Jared sent me earlier, your sister apparently beat him up?-In virtual boxing of course!-Not like, in real life or whatever."

"I'm pretty sure the brat could take Kleinman in a fight. What about you?"

"Are we placing bets?"

"Yeah, the winner gets-"

Connor was suddenly interrupted by Evan's phone rringing. The caller ID showed a photo of his mother smiling.

'One second!' Evan mouthed as he answered the call.

"Hi mom....Uh-yeah, Connor is still here. Why?....Wha-what? You want to what?...Uh-huh....Right. Okay, I'll tell him. What day?...-Tomorrow?!..Right, right. I'll tell him. Okay...Love you too! Bye." Evan ended the call and sighed.

"What was that all about?" Connor asked, starting to trail kisses against Evan's cheek.

"Don't freak out, but my mom wants to spend an evening out with you? She said it's because she wants to get to know you more." Evan gave a worried smile.

"Wait, are you sure? I mean...I'm not exactly the kind of guy someone would want to take home to their parents, you know?" Connor asked, looking away in thought.

"Connor, you-you're amazing though! If you weren't I-"

"I forced you into a relationship with me, Hansen." Connor groaned.

"What?"

"I made you kiss me in the computer lab, I made you make out with me at the orchard, I-"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Connor! Wait, you didn't force me to make out with you at the orchard-I was the one who started it that time-I mean-I could have pushed you away at any of those times-And I think I'm falling in love with you-And my mom was really happy to meet you the first time and-"

Connor wasn't sure if his ears were playing tricks on him or not, but his heart started pounding as he watched the boy ramble on and on. It's funny how that one thing could make him feel like his whole world was at peace. Or maybe it was a bunch of things mixed together that made him feel this way? Evan's goofy smile, his heartfelt laughter when he was comfortable enough to let it out, how his eyes could blend in with the blue sky, how soft his kisses were whenever he'd initiate them, the way Evan would get lost in his own ranting, and many other things. All these things made up one person, and not just any person, but the person who Connor couldn't see himself without anymore.

"-I love you." Connor whispered, stopping Evan's rambling.

"So-sorry, I was stuttering and droning on again and-...What did you say, Connor?" Evan asked.

"What did you say?" Connor blurted out, his ear turning read as he raised his eyebrows.

"I...I don't remember?" Evan said, looking away to hide his heated face. Connor raised an eyebrow at the reply.

"Oh really?" Connor began to say in a teasing manner. "I could have sworn you said you were falling in love with me." He finished off and got very close to Evan's face.

"Yeah-yeah, well-I could have sworn that I heard you say that you love me." Evan retorted. Connor placed a hand on his chin as if he were thinking about it.

"Huhh~ I don't know, I can't seem to remember." Connor said, letting out a low whistle before giving a shrug and moving to lie back against the headboard of the bed.

"Connor~!" Evan complained. "I know what you said, so-so, please, can you say it again?"

Evan followed Connor and climbed onto him. Connor saw the want for him to repeat his words again, and he wasn't going to give into Evan's puppy dog eyes this time. Nope. Nuh-uh. Not gonna-

"Okay-I said I'm falling in love with you-so please just tell me what you said?" Evan begged, placing his hands on Connor's chest. Connor could feel himself melting. Well, giving in this once shouldn't be bad.

"I love you." Connor said, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. No response came from Evan. Connor was starting to wonder if he had made the right choice in telling him or not, but all his what ifs went away when Evan surprised him with a hug.

"I...I love you too." Evan said softly as tears began rolling down his cheeks.

 The two held onto each other until Zoe gave a call letting Connor know that he needed to start heading back. Connor then realized in the car on the way home that he had a big day tomorrow, and he had no idea what was in store, but he did know that he was willing to do anything for Evan...


	9. The Best Advice Came from a Woman in Scrubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you tried seeking family therapy?"
> 
> Larry won't even let you get therapy for yourself. Why would he put his normal family through that?
> 
>  
> 
> _Stop. Therapy doesn't mean you're not normal. It's good-it's healthy._
> 
>  
> 
> You're not good or healthy.
> 
>  
> 
> _I will be, I swear!_
> 
>  
> 
> Do you really believe that?
> 
>  
> 
> _N-Yes. I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! So sorry for taking an eternity to update again, and thank you all so much for putting up with my random update dates!  
> I've had a lot on my plate, but I have to say that the comments and messages I've been receiving have really pushed me to get this done, so thank you for that!! ^^  
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! There's a lot of interaction between Heidi and Connor in this chapter so hopefully you guys like it! :D  
> (Also, I know it's not very long compared to my other chapters, but I felt like this chapter was important and I'm pretty sure there will be plenty going on in the next one ;) )

Connor took a deep breath as he examined himself one last time in the mirror. Nope. This wasn't going to work. Why was he so nervous anyway? He was only meeting his boyfriend's mother so she could get to know him more. They've technically already met, so what could go wrong, right?

Right. It's not like he smokes weed.

_I'm getting better._

It's not like he's got some undiagnosed mental issues that can cause him to thrash out in anger and hurt himself or even others.

_I...that's not my fault. I can get help-no, I don't need help and Larry-...I'm gonna try to get better._

Connor groaned and checked the time on his phone that showed if he didn't stop having a crisis now and start leaving, he was gonna end up being late. That was the last thing he wanted to worry about on top of everything else. He grabbed his bag and went out the door.

 

Heidi Hansen sat at one of the benches outside the little ice cream shop while she waited for Connor to arrive. It was quiet and nice out today. She hoped that Evan wouldn't find out that she called in and asked to leave early just so she could spend this time to interroga-get to know his new boyfriend. She looked down at her phone that was laid down on the table and tapped it to wake it up. The lock screen showed a picture of her and Evan when he was younger. She sat, admiring the photo. When had he gotten so big? This was not the first time she had wondered this, but that didn't mean she would stop asking.

The subtle sound of someone clearing their throat called Heidi's attention. She raised her head and saw Connor awkwardly rocking back and forward on his feet with a small smile on his face.

"Hello, Ms. Hansen. It's nice to see you" he said respectfully.

"Good to see ya too, Connor, and please, call me Heidi. Come-Sit, sit! We have a lot to discuss." she said happily with a warm smile as she gestured to the bench seat across from her. Connor quickly sat himself down and twisted his rings absentmindedly as he thought of something to say.

"It's a nice day, huh?" Heidi said, hoping to break the ice.

"Yeah. I, uh, actually used to come to this place a lot." Connor said, a sad smile tugging at his lips.

"Oh! That's wonderful! When was the last time that you came?" she asked cheerfully.

"Um...I can't remember actually. My family and I used to stop by before heading to the orchid. It was kinda our weekly outing I guess, then they just...kinda stopped happening."

Heidi's smile dropped slowly. She knew very little about Connor's family situation from what Evan has shared with her, which was simply that it's not a very good one. 

"Do you miss spending time with your family?" she dared to ask. Connor seemed taken aback by the question.

"Uh...I don't know? My sister and I are trying to talk things out and my mom is okay, but my relationship with Lar-I mean-my father" he stopped to clear his throat as he quickly scrunched his nose at the fact he called Larry his dad before continuing. "Well, our relationship is, uh, complicated."

None existent you mean. Don't lie. Who are you fooling?

_That one's not on me. If he wasn't so damn-!...Breath..._

"I'm sorry if I-If I touched a bad subject..." Heidi spoke quietly, calling Connor's attention.

"No, it's fine, really. He's just not the best person in my life right now."

"Have you tried seeking family therapy?"

Larry won't even let you get therapy for yourself. Why would he put his normal family through that?

_Stop. Therapy doesn't mean you're not normal. It's good-it's healthy._

You're not good or healthy.

_I will be, I swear!_

Do you really believe that?

_N-Yes. I do._

Don't lie to yourself like you do to others.

"Connor? Honey?" Heidi called.

"Oh-sorry about that ma'am. Uh, La-my father doesn't believe in that stuff." Connor replied, giving a small award laugh as he cringed again at the word.

"Connor, just because your father doesn't believe in it doesn't mean you don't have to-and I'm sorry if I'm overstepping in any way." Heidi quickly apologized.

"No, it's fine, and I guess I knew that...it's just hard enough to do anything since he disapproves of everything." Connor scrunched his nose and huffed.

 

Heidi took a deep breath and sighed, looking at the boy in front of her. He had a weight on his shoulders, and she could tell since it reminded her a lot of Evan.

 

"Well, if you can't physically see a therapist, there are other options if you're interested?" She suggested, certainly earning Connor's interest.

"Wait, really? Like what?"

"Online therapy is a thing too. You sign up and give them an idea of what you're going through. From there they match you with a therapist that can help you." Heidi replied and smiled when she saw hope light up in Connor's eyes. The moment was taken away almost too soon though as he quickly looked conflicted.

"Larry checks my web history. I can't." He mumbled quietly, but just loud enough for her to hear. Now she was conflicted. She wasn't one to tell a child to go against a parent, but what was she to do? Connor needed to seek professional help to get him through these things until he can get medical help at an older age, so how could he do it?

 

"Library." She whispered to herself.

"Library?" Connor asked. Heidi pretended to look surprised that he heard her.

"Huh? Library? What about it?-I love libraries! Even if you're not there to check out a book, you could use the computers there to read the news, talk to friends, and even do research. The computers there are free, which is also good." She quickly rambled, the words practically tumbling out of her mouth. Connor furrowed his brow in confusion until his eyes widened in realization for a second.

"Right! Libraries are...They're cool." He smiled quickly. A silent 'thank you'.

"Aside from that, remember that you are in control of your health and your life, okay? I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I do know that how you feel about the whole situation is valid and that you'll get through it because you've made it this far. Take the voice in your head that tries to bring you down as a challenge-well, so long as the result will be good, like waking up in the morning or getting out of bed and getting started on that painting you've wanted to work on for years. Things like that, you know? If the voice tries to tell you that you can't do something, then prove that voice wrong."

"What if I can't? What...What if the most I can do during the day is breath?" Connor asked, looking for an answer.

"Then take a deep breath with pride. That is your victory for the day. In a day where you feel like you can do nothing, you took the most important step towards living, and that was breathing. Victories don't need to be large. You could do something that might seem as significant as a grain of salt, but it can still be counted as a victory because, in the end, you still did it." Heidi said, giving Connor a warm smile. Connor returned the smile and took in a deep breath. He had no idea just how much he needed that until now. Also, one of her examples made him wonder something.

 

"This is probably a weird question, but do you paint?" Connor asked, remembering how Evan had told him where he had gotten the paintbrush during their whole 'makeup' dilemma. Heidi seemed surprised by the question but smiled still.

"I used to. I had originally wanted to be an artist."

"What made you stop?"

"I..." Heidi started speaking, unsure of how to explain. "I ended up needing to work longer shifts since I was the only one working. Any single mom probably has a story similar to mine, or even anyone who's trying to make ends meet really can tell you that it isn't easy."

"Well, maybe you could work on it little by little? I mean, eventually it'll get done, right?" Connor suggested. Heady thought for a moment and nodded her head.

"That's sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll take your advice. Thank you, Connor." She said.

The two continued to talk about their day and Heidi couldn't help but share some baby pictures of Evan that she had saved on her phone which made Connor laugh. They ate their ice cream and soon it was time for Connor to leave.

"Make sure to drive safe and wear your seatbelt!" Heidi called out to him as he opened the door to his car.

"You too! And thank you!...For everything!" He called back. 

Connor got into his car and took in another deep breath before letting it out. Despite his nerves almost getting the best of him earlier today, he felt more relaxed than ever. He started his car.

You said you'd buckle up and drive safe.

_Right. Seatbelt on and be careful on the road. Got it._

He clicked in his seatbelt and looked behind him for any cars or people as he backed up and hit the road.

 When was the last time he had buckled his seatbelt or remembered the speed limit? I mean, he normally focuses on driving slower with Evan in the car to make him feel at ease, but on his own? Maybe today was the push he needed in the right direction?

His thoughts were cut off by his phone ringing. He quickly answered without checking to see who it was.

"Hello?" 

"Connor, we have a problem." it was Zoey. 

"What happened?"

"Dad wants to spend time with Evan to get to know him properly since we told him that he's dating me."

Connie's grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

_Not this shit again._


End file.
